Dr. Bumblebee

As some of you may already know, I’ve spent several years trying to find a good family doctor.  I realize that there is a shortage of family doctors in many areas, and that I should probably feel lucky to even have a selection to choose from.  But I think it’s very important to have someone you can trust and feel comfortable with, since most of us will probably need to talk with about some pretty serious physical and mental health issues, at some point. 

Since our move to Calgary, I have probably had about 5 ‘meet and greet’ appointments, which I usually left feeling disappointed and underwhelmed.  I honestly don’t think my standards are too high – the qualities I look for are: good with kids; basic social skills - like eye contact and a smile now and then; a good understanding of post partum; and sensitivity to mental health issues.  Needless to say, most of the doctors I met were lacking in one if not all of these categories.  I had actually given up my search and decided that my ideal doctor didn’t exist, until he literally walked into our lives…

Ivan and I had taken Rya for a walk-in appointment and in came a doctor with the biggest smile I’d ever seen.  He greeted us  both and then sat down in front of Rya and spent a few minutes admiring her pink boots and asking if they had a pair in his size.  Before placing a hand on her, he made sure to make friends first – getting down to her level to catch her eyes, and showing her his stethoscope and light.  Then he joked that he had lost his bumblebee and asked permission to look in her ears and throat for it.  Rya even thinks his name is Dr. Bumblebee, which I suppose is fair since his real name – Dr. Mkhabela – is a bit harder for her to pronounce : ) Dr. Bumblebee won Rya over that very first day and won Ivan over just as fast with his ‘Eddie Murphy laugh’ as Ivan describes it.

To be honest, I had thought Dr. Mkhabela was too good to be true, so I went back on my own to put him to the test.  I’ve been on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication since my post-partum issues with Mariah, and have been continuously trying to decide whether I should try and wean myself off.  When I brought the concern to Dr. Mkhabela – he was as sensitive and non-judgmental as I could have hoped.  He did not make a decision for me, but engaged me in a discussion about the pro’s and con’s of stopping medication.  Together we decided to hold off until next summer since winter months can be especially tough on a person’s mood.  It was a decision I was comfortable with, after a conversation where I really felt heard and supported. 

Each time we go back, Dr. Mkhabela seems to have this same genuine passion for his work and kindness in his approach.  He is so natural in his skill, yet also seems consistently aware of his words to try and maintain his own personal high standard of care.  In conversations, I’ve noticed him independently correcting himself from saying ‘should’ to presenting options to his patient.  And when he booked an appointment with me to review a ‘plan of action’ for my health concerns (which no other doctor had done), I happened to see him look at his list of questions – silently gazing over the ‘overweight’ section – and I’m pretty sure I heard his wife in his head saying “If you know what’s good for you, you will not ask this new mom about her weight!”, as he discretely skipped over the section. 

I can’t begin to explain how happy Ivan and I are to finally have a family doctor who has gone above and beyond our expectations.  Last time I was there, I asked if he was looking for a bumblebee when he checked my ears, and sure enough I got his hearty ‘Eddie Murphy’ laugh : )  Dr. Mkhabela has joked that he should put bumblebee stickers on the ceiling to distract kids when they are lying for an examination.  So I recently went on a search of my own and managed to find some.  At my next visit, I will hand him a copy of this blog as well as some bumblebee stickers!