Mariah's Dayjob

Many people have been asking us lately how Mariah has been doing at her dayhome, and the only way to answer that question accurately is to say ‘she has her days!’.  Veronica has been very patient with Mariah’s transition into the dayhome, and it seems like every time we all start to think Mariah is finally settling in…she proves us wrong.  Whenever Mariah attends consistently, she seems to understand the routine and feel comfortable during the day.  However, any small schedule changes – like winter holidays, sick days, or long weekends – seem to result in Veronica needing to start from scratch with Mariah’s training. 

Most days Veronica finds the time to e-mail parents about their child’s day and some of these anecdotes have been so priceless that I thought I would try to summarize them into this blog entry.  To give you a bit of background, Veronica has 4 children at her dayhome during the day, as well as her own to children before and after school.  In addition to Mariah, there is a little boy a few months older than her, and two girls aged 3 and 4.  The girls adore Mariah and have always been gentle and nurturing to her.  And the little boy seems content to have a new ‘bud’ close to his own age.  Now, how Mariah treats the children and Veronica depends on what side of the bed she woke up on.

On her bad days…

Mariah seems to think that the dayhome is a show that’s put on in her honour.  She makes it clear that her role is to be the ‘baby’ and declares that Veronica must not pay any attention to the other children.  On these days, Mariah wants Veronica to carry her all the time, and she throws a tantrum if Veronica talks to the other children or even tries to feed or change them.  When she doesn’t get her way, Mariah screams, throws toys, knocks food out of Veronica’s hand, and simply acts like a rebellious little monkey.  These days also usually involve 10-20 minute naps abruptly ended by a stubborn Mariah who decides she would rather continue being a bully than waste time sleeping.  I truly don’t know how Veronica survives these rough days and am terrified that it foreshadows the jealousy that will appear when Mariah meets her baby sister in a few months.  But I’m also hopeful that the dayhome is giving Mariah a good opportunity to learn some social skills and realize she can’t always be the centre of attention before she acquires a sibling.

On her good days…

Mariah is a completely different baby.  She plays well with the other children and even treats Veronica a little kinder.  She dances around energetically and sometimes falls over laughing at the small things she finds funny.  Mariah shows her affectionate side by sharing hugs and kisses – which are welcomed by Veronica and the girls, yet taken with an awkward caution by the boy who isn’t quite sure how to get away.  In fact, one day Mariah made herself quite comfortable in his lap and when he tried to squeeze his legs out from under her, she just scooted back over until he gave up and sat there helplessly.  Aside from being overwhelmed by her touchy feely side, this little boy does seem to enjoy her company.  When Veronica takes the clan for a walk, Mariah and the little boy sit together in a wagon and babble to each other, laughing at each other’s ‘jokes’ the whole way.  On these good days, Mariah eats well, and when Veronica puts her down for nap time, she just gets comfy in the playpen and sleeps for a couple of solid hours. 

Although it’s hard to hear about her rough days (and I’m sure it’s even harder for Veronica to experience them), I would like to think that they’re getting fewer and farther between.  Mariah’s many good days leave Ivan and I feeling content at work, knowing that she’s having a ball and not being too much of a handful.  Fingers crossed that it continues to go in that direction!

The Pregnancy Dilemma

If you’ve never been pregnant yourself, take a minute to think about what you know (or think you know) about pregnancy.  Do the first ideas that come to mind include a list of things not to do?!?  Before experiencing pregnancy myself, I remember ignorantly asking pregnant friends and family members if they were ‘allowed’ to do some of the things I saw them doing: drinking coffee, flying, lifting heavy objects, etc.  When I finally became pregnant myself and educated on the subject, I’ve begun to find it highly irritating to have my actions questioned by others.  I realize that people usually don’t intend to be judgmental or insensitive; they’re just verbalizing the many pregnancy myths they’ve learned through the media or other sources.  So allow me to use this forum to dispel some of those many myths:

Caffeine

Myth – Consuming any amount of caffeine during pregnancy can cause miscarriage or preterm birth

Fact – The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists suggest that having about a cup of coffee a day during pregnancy is safe

http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/Health/20100722/caffeine-pregnancy-100722/

Flying during pregnancy

Myth – Women should not fly after about 6 months of pregnancy since it may cause preterm labour

Fact – Unless a women is experiencing pregnancy complications, most doctors agree it is safe to fly until full-term or 36 weeks.  Even then, the major concern is simply that women at full-term can go into normal labour unexpectedly…so an aircraft may not be an ideal place to be.  Since airlines have their own policies on this subject, pregnant women may need a note from their doctor or midwife confirming they are able to fly.

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/wellbeing_flying.html

Lifting heavy objects

Myth – Pregnant women could harm their baby by lifting heavy objects or engaging in strenuous physical activity.

Fact – Studies show that lifting up to 25 pounds during pregnancy is safe when done correctly and that the only risk of lifting heavier objects is that mom could injure herself rather than harming her baby.  As well, women are encouraged to continue the same level of exercise they were comfortable with prior to pregnancy in order to maintain a healthy body.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20023745/ns/today-today_health/t/debunking-myths-about-pregnancy-hazards/#.Ty1_L5jlDao

Foods to avoid

Myth – Eating foods such as soft cheeses, sushi, hot dogs, and sandwich meat are unsafe during pregnancy

Fact – Doctors used to warn against eating these foods during pregnancy since they have a higher risk of carrying Listeria or Salmonella.  However, current research shows that it is so rare to contract such infections from these foods that there is no need to completely rule them out, so long as they’re bought from reputable places.  In terms of raw or cooked seafood, pregnant women should simply limit their intake of high mercury seafood, such as tuna.

This is been the most liberating discovery I’ve made recently since I have a slight addiction to sushi!

http://www.motherisk.org/prof/updatesDetail.jsp?content_id=925

Hopefully some of this information can help society shift from viewing pregnancy as a medical condition or disability, to seeing it as a natural part of women’s lives.  I don’t think this means we should stop offering pregnant women a seat on the bus, as long as it’s an offer that comes without judgment if she declines.

One final, and more controversial, thought to consider is how society treats women who use drugs or alcohol during pregnancy.  We all know that substance abuse can cause serious harm to unborn babies.  However, I think it’s also important to recognize the complex role that addiction plays in many lives.  If pregnancy could magically end a body’s desire for a substance, then it would probably be recommended as a detox treatment…but it’s not.  So before giving a lecture or dirty look to a pregnant women who is smoking a cigarette, just remember that since men don’t get pregnant, they are conveniently excused of all judgment when it comes to substance abuse.  I’m not saying I condone substance use during pregnancy.  But on a larger scale than the other myths discussed in this blog, I think this can be another way that women are oppressed by judgment as a result of being pregnant.