"I'm in love with a girl, nearly twice my age"...

I recently realized, that when Rya turns 3 this December (which is in itself pretty crazy to think about)…she will be twice her sister’s age for the only time during their lives!  As the song title suggests, Chubz obviously loves her big sister and often copies everything she does – as a younger sibling I can say this phase lasts approximately forever.  But for now Rya usually follows Chubz around a lot more and loves to scold her for any reason she can think of.  By this age, Rya had already developed a very strong personality and was a ‘no nonsense’ type of baby.  For the most part, Chubz is a lot more mild mannered and easy going – but she does occasionally demonstrate her temper, when Rya triggers it.  When Rya snatches Chubz’ toys away on an hourly basis, Chubz screams…walks over to the next nearest object – grabs it with a “ha! I wanted this anyway” type of look, throws it down on the floor for attention…and if she’s really mad, throws herself on her stomach too and stretches up one of her legs while she pretends to cry (which is quite amusing since it looks like a well performed yoga move).  When they’re not busy fighting with each other, here’s what each of them are up to lately:

Rya’s favourite movie this year is ‘The Croods’ – a movie about Cavepeople, from which Rya really relates to the main character, “Ip”.  Ip is a Cave teenager who loves adventure and the outdoors.  In the summer, Rya is usually barefoot in the backyard, climbing on something or other – and the bottoms of her feet look just as dirty as Ip’s do.  Rya has watched the movie so many times that she often pretends she’s a little Cave Woman who hears noises and shouts “quick – hide cave” as she scurries into a closet or dark corner.  Rya has been using complete sentences really well, especially since starting ‘school’ in August and some of her famous recent lines and stories have included:

-“Have you wait, okay mama?” – delaying anything I try to ask her to do like brush her teeth

-“No, I sleepy, wake up my brother” – in the morning when she’d rather sleep in than get ready.  And yes…for some reason she recently started insisting that Kassiah is her ‘brother’!

-Rya apparently has vivid bad dreams and her reports of them in the morning have included a repetitive dream about a boy taking her shirt away, and pushing her out of a tree!  Or the latest nightmare – she awoke shrieking and I later learned she was certain there were ladybugs in her bed, since I had threatened that bugs might come if she brought a granola bar there. 

-Other bedtime quotes have included: “I not kicking you mama, I just lub you” – while digging her feet into my back at bedtime; “I AM TALKING SOFTLY” when I ask her to whisper so her sister doesn’t wake up; and my favourite “no mama, I not sleepy, I just tired”

-Okay, I lied, my real favourite quote happened recently when we were watching a cute documentary called ‘Babies’ and she saw a naked baby boy.              

            “Mommy, he have a thingy…like a dicky”;

            “Yes honey, it’s not a dicky, it’s a penis” (while in my head “seriously, Ivan? Could you not     

            call it something appropriate when she questions yours?”)

            “No mama, it’s a dicky!  I don’t have a dicky”. 

            “Okay, whatever it’s a dicky…nope only boys have dickies, you have a vagina”

            “No!  I only have a peanut!”

As per usual, Chubz’ update will be more concise since she doesn’t seem to do or say too much just yet.  

-Her newest skill is that she has become the mystery bathtub pooper.  It used to be an occasional funny occurrence, but now she does it so often that we all shout ‘Chubz – no! – including Rya who is usually scrambling out from next to her, trying to escape the floater.   

-As many of you who have carried Chubz will know, she can be quite a squirmy wormy…especially when she’s sleepy.  Ivan calls it her forbidden dance – where she sticks her bum in and out while snuggling into your shoulder before she passes out.  

-She may have learned from me to let out a dramatic grunt when she lifts heavy things – but for her this means anything, whether it’s a ball or a piece of paper.  

-And finally, although she doesn’t say too much, her cutest word is ‘this’ – which she says with the cutest little voice and corresponding body language when she points to and begs for my boob.  Yes – she is still breastfeeding against my will at this point, which I promise to blog about soon too. 

Dr. Bumblebee

As some of you may already know, I’ve spent several years trying to find a good family doctor.  I realize that there is a shortage of family doctors in many areas, and that I should probably feel lucky to even have a selection to choose from.  But I think it’s very important to have someone you can trust and feel comfortable with, since most of us will probably need to talk with about some pretty serious physical and mental health issues, at some point. 

Since our move to Calgary, I have probably had about 5 ‘meet and greet’ appointments, which I usually left feeling disappointed and underwhelmed.  I honestly don’t think my standards are too high – the qualities I look for are: good with kids; basic social skills - like eye contact and a smile now and then; a good understanding of post partum; and sensitivity to mental health issues.  Needless to say, most of the doctors I met were lacking in one if not all of these categories.  I had actually given up my search and decided that my ideal doctor didn’t exist, until he literally walked into our lives…

Ivan and I had taken Rya for a walk-in appointment and in came a doctor with the biggest smile I’d ever seen.  He greeted us  both and then sat down in front of Rya and spent a few minutes admiring her pink boots and asking if they had a pair in his size.  Before placing a hand on her, he made sure to make friends first – getting down to her level to catch her eyes, and showing her his stethoscope and light.  Then he joked that he had lost his bumblebee and asked permission to look in her ears and throat for it.  Rya even thinks his name is Dr. Bumblebee, which I suppose is fair since his real name – Dr. Mkhabela – is a bit harder for her to pronounce : ) Dr. Bumblebee won Rya over that very first day and won Ivan over just as fast with his ‘Eddie Murphy laugh’ as Ivan describes it.

To be honest, I had thought Dr. Mkhabela was too good to be true, so I went back on my own to put him to the test.  I’ve been on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication since my post-partum issues with Mariah, and have been continuously trying to decide whether I should try and wean myself off.  When I brought the concern to Dr. Mkhabela – he was as sensitive and non-judgmental as I could have hoped.  He did not make a decision for me, but engaged me in a discussion about the pro’s and con’s of stopping medication.  Together we decided to hold off until next summer since winter months can be especially tough on a person’s mood.  It was a decision I was comfortable with, after a conversation where I really felt heard and supported. 

Each time we go back, Dr. Mkhabela seems to have this same genuine passion for his work and kindness in his approach.  He is so natural in his skill, yet also seems consistently aware of his words to try and maintain his own personal high standard of care.  In conversations, I’ve noticed him independently correcting himself from saying ‘should’ to presenting options to his patient.  And when he booked an appointment with me to review a ‘plan of action’ for my health concerns (which no other doctor had done), I happened to see him look at his list of questions – silently gazing over the ‘overweight’ section – and I’m pretty sure I heard his wife in his head saying “If you know what’s good for you, you will not ask this new mom about her weight!”, as he discretely skipped over the section. 

I can’t begin to explain how happy Ivan and I are to finally have a family doctor who has gone above and beyond our expectations.  Last time I was there, I asked if he was looking for a bumblebee when he checked my ears, and sure enough I got his hearty ‘Eddie Murphy’ laugh : )  Dr. Mkhabela has joked that he should put bumblebee stickers on the ceiling to distract kids when they are lying for an examination.  So I recently went on a search of my own and managed to find some.  At my next visit, I will hand him a copy of this blog as well as some bumblebee stickers!