Mariah's Birth Story

Disclaimer:  What you are about to read is a very real and very beautiful depiction of childbirth.  Since you may be used to over-dramatized media portrayals, please be warned that this birth story does not involve trauma or horror.

Early Labour (about 14.5 very manageable hours: 9:30am - midnight)

I woke up to mild contractions, which had likely started while I slept.  Throughout the morning, these contractions remained irregular so we assumed it was ‘pre-labour’ (sporadic contractions that can happen even a few days before delivery) and went about our day.   But, just incase, we also applied all of the early labour techniques we had learned (prepared my body by eating and drinking well and by taking an afternoon nap; kept distracted by going for Ivan’s haircut and trying to finish reading my birthing book; kept active by going for a short walk and squatting on my exercise ball; relaxed by having a bath and deep breathing; and tried to kick-start the process by practicing acupressure points…the works!). 

Contractions continued to get more intense & closer together throughout the evening but we waited until our midwives’ “3-1-1” guideline (contractions are 3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each, and for 1 hour) and paged them at 11pm.  I guess I sounded like I was coping a little too well over the phone since our midwife on-call, Christy, suggested I take another bath and try another nap to see whether that intensified or slowed the contractions.  Ivan was doing a great job of ‘counterpressure’ on my back and hips, except that he kept offering options – like whether I wanted him to press harder, use a tennis ball, etc.  The first time I told him politely that I needed to breathe through my contractions and couldn’t talk.  The second time, I repeated that verbatim in a harsher tone.  And the third time I threatened to punch him if he talked to me again during a contraction!

Transition –  about midnight

So I tried another bath followed by a short nap attempt (for which I took a Tylenol – the only medication during labour) but suddenly got up and vomited.  Luckily, I just missed the bassinet!  We had learned from our prenatal class that vomiting is a common sign of the ‘transition’ from early into active labour – and it turned out to be just that.  From then on, contractions suddenly became much stronger and much closer together, to the point that we stopped tracking them but knew that they were about 2 minutes apart and getting shorter.  I quickly started overheating, and followed my instinct to strip off all my clothes (another common sign of transition).

Active Labour  (about 2.5 hours: 12am – 2:30am)

I paged Christy again and she could tell by the moaning during my next contraction that I was definitely further along than our first conversation.  She let me know that she and our student midwife, Mimi, were on their way.  In the meantime, I spent my next several contractions leaning over my exercise ball, squatting under my ‘rain’ shower (which took me a year of whining at Home Depot to convince Ivan to buy…well worth it in the end), and eventually lying in my bathtub.  Ivan was with me for almost every contraction but when he occasionally needed to leave for a moment, I only had enough focus to grunt ‘need you’ before he was back applying counterpressure.  The lights were dim and my thoughts were starting to become blurry because of the intense pain.  To be honest, the contractions had evolved into such strong pressure that I started thinking I would never attempt natural childbirth again and wondered if I would be able to ‘make it’ this time.  I kept hoping the midwives would arrive any moment, but since we live in a new area that GPS’s don’t like, they got a bit lost!  So Ivan was in & out of the room trying to discretely give directions over the phone without panicking me.  They arrived around 1am while I was still in the bathtub.  Mimi magically appeared at my side to comfort me while Christy checked me (my first and ONLY internal exam of pregnancy/delivery).  Ivan & I saw a surprised look on Christy’s face and I was terrified that she would tell me I was only a few centimeters dilated, but apparently it was a pleasant surprise - I was fully dilated!  By then I started getting louder during contractions – moaning in a low pitch and making some scared whimpering noises.  The midwives were telling me I was doing a great job but Ivan was still silent (probably due to my earlier threat of violence!).  I started to push a bit without realizing and then I felt a ‘pop’ which turned out to be my ‘membranes rupturing’/water breaking. 

Pushing (about 2:30am-2:55am: 25 minutes)

I felt a strong urge to push and told the midwives so.  Christy encouraged me to do whatever my body told me to (which is far more helpful than having a doctor command you to push when your body is not yet ready.  Midwives follow the philosophy that a woman’s body knows exactly what to do during labour and that it’s important to encourage a woman to try and trust these instincts).  On the next contraction I told them I felt burning on my cervix, which I realized afterward was the ‘ring of fire’/head crowning, but it felt mild probably because the water was doing an amazing job of pain management.  Christy reminded me that instead of using my air on noises, I needed to hold my breath, bring my body in and push on the next contraction.  Although I had always envisioned a waterbirth, I wasn’t able find a comfortable pushing position so Christy suggested I squat on the toilet for the next contraction to see if that would help baby descend further.  Sure enough, as soon as I did, I felt the head (although I had no idea how I knew that).  I started moving back toward the tub but they said there was no time to re-fill the water so they asked me to get onto my bed.  I instinctively climbed on my hands & knees.  They asked if I wanted to lie on my side and I firmly said ‘no’ – I was now certain of what my body was telling me to do, and was finally trusting it.  Again I started with loud moans and inefficient pushes until Christy teased that I would just lose my voice : )  I think up until then, I was just scared to push.  But on the next contraction, I shut-up, held my breath and gave about 3 good pushes and continued to try & do the same on the next few contractions.  Ivan was beside me on the bed supporting me and now finally ignoring my earlier threats by giving me wonderful positive feedback, which I was grateful for.  I couldn’t feel any progress, but was relieved to be pushing since it made the contractions feel productive l and since the pressure of pushing was not as scary as I had imagined.  Christy asked me to reach down & feel the head, which I hesitantly did (I almost felt like I didn’t want to, since I wasn’t interested in the process at that point, I just wanted to be finished).  But I continued pushing as a team with my midwives (whereas they did not tell me when to start pushing, they did help me to prevent/minimize tearing by letting me when to slow down, since I couldn’t see how fast baby was coming out.)

Birth (2:55 a.m.)

I actually don’t remember the rest in terms of when the head vs. body started moving out…but just remember finally being done, lying down and having my baby placed on my tummy.  Ivan was crying and I wished I could too but was too exhausted and in shock.  I said to Ivan – ‘I did it?!?’  And he & the midwives assured me I had done a great job.  Ivan and I stared at Mariah in awe and I asked if I could pull her up & even tried a bit before remembering that she was still connected to the placenta inside me.  Ivan and I both wanted to delay the cord-cutting for several minutes to allow it to finish giving baby her last few drops of precious nutrients - the midwives encouraged this too and even had us feel it pulsing.  Then Ivan got to cut it & I finally got to hold baby up on my chest to get a better look.  I asked if I needed to push the placenta out & Christy joked that since it doesn’t have bones it would slip out easier than the baby & sure enough it did.

Post-Partum

I had a small 1^st degree tear since baby had her hand on her head as she emerged.  Christy told me that she could either put in a couple of stitches or let it heal on its own since it was small, only if I promised not to do stairs or cross my legs for a few days.  I quickly begged for the latter, since I was more afraid of the pain of stitches than the natural childbirth I had just been through. 

Although the labour was officially 18 hours from start to finish, the 2.5 hours of active labour and 25 minutes of pushing are apparently pretty fast for a first baby.  The homebirth was even more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.  I truly believe that all of the natural remedies the midwives suggested during pregnancy, in combination with the labour techniques Ivan & I learned along the way, helped me to experience the amazing natural homebirth I have always hoped and dreamed for.

To add to the beauty of it all, we realized afterward that Mariah’s arrival into the world was happening during a rare lunar eclipse.  And as if that wasn’t enough, she arrived exactly one day before my own birthday and 2 days before Ivan’s mom’s (her namesake’s) birthday.  During my pregnancy I had kept hoping that she would arrive on one of our birthdays, but I suppose she wanted to be close to us, but still wanted her independence!