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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Calm before the Storm


So far, our little family has been thoroughly enjoying summer holidays together.  Time has flown by with flurries of houseguests, a few landscaping projects, and an upcoming camping trip in the Rockies.  I’ve gotten so used to having Ivan’s help with housework and taking care of Mariah, that I’m starting to get nervous about re-adjusting to the real world in a few short weeks.  At first, the shift from my once dreaded mommy routine was a bit unsettling, but I must admit I’m getting used to vacation mode with lots of late nights and many excuses to miss the gym! 

Baby bootcamp has been going reasonably well.  Mariah has been sleeping in her crib for the majority of most nights – with Ivan & I taking turns settling her every few hours.  She’s definitely more comfortable on her own these days, even singing herself to sleep sometimes as a self-soothing strategy.  I’m hoping to somehow try and maintain this when Ivan returns to work, but am a bit concerned that sleep deprivation may tempt me to ‘give up’ and bring her back to our bed.  Transitioning her to solids has been more fun than I expected.  Ivan made a hobby of making Mariah a variety of home-made babyfoods.  She loved most things, but has been realizing that it’s far more fun and delicious to eat off of our plates so we’re trying to allow her table and finger foods as much as we can (she even loves the taste of curry!)  As for diapering – we sat on the fence for a couple of weeks and both finally agreed to give up on cloth diapers (at least for now) and switch to disposables.  It was a tough decision, but the huge reduction in laundry is definitely helping me feel less overwhelmed.

Mariah’s mobility is truly blooming this summer.  Her crawling is improving and her frequent attempts at standing tell me that she will likely walk early.  In a way, her mobility has made parenting much more manageable since she’s independent enough to entertain herself with toys for a few minutes at a time, rather than needing to be carried.  However, as everyone keeps warning me … apparently I’ll be chasing after her in no-time.  I like to think that if I baby proof our house enough, maybe I can just let her roam free and eliminate the need for chasing.  But somehow, I think that rationale may be a bit naïve.  For now, I’ll just continue to enjoy the respite of summer holidays and the calm before the storm of excitement to come!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Baby Bootcamp

This long weekend marked the beginning of Ivan’s summer holidays from teaching.  I’m not sure who’s more excited: Ivan for having a well-deserved break from work; or me for getting an extra pair of hands to help with baby at home!  In fact, since the start of my maternity leave, I’ve been telling myself ‘just survive until summer and life will get easier’…and so it has.  Well mostly.  Ivan and I spent the first couple of days getting on each other’s nerves since that’s easy to do when you spend too much time together.  But the sunshine and summer vibes are starting to set in, so we’re trying to relax a bit more and daydream about the weeks to come.

Little does Mariah know, that mommy and daddy’s vacation time will coincide with her ‘baby bootcamp’.  You see…there are a few parenting hurdles I’ve found too hard to manage on my own, so I put them off until Ivan could help:

Step 1 – Sleep Training
Up until now, Mariah has had the luxury of co-sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed.  Ivan and I both have very mixed feelings about this since it can be a great bonding experience, yet can perpetuate sleep deprivation and be a relationship challenge since something – or rather someone – is literally right in between us at night.  I’ll dedicate a full blog to this topic at a later time.  For now, the summary is that we have attempted transitioning Mariah to her crib several times with little success since it ideally requires a persistent effort from both parents.  There are various theories and strategies ranging from ‘Ferberizing’ (letting baby cry themselves to sleep) vs. a more attachment based approach of comforting baby each time she cries – each with the goal of gradually decreasing their need for mommy or daddy.  Last night was the first time that Ivan and I did not ‘give up’ – we took turns getting up every hour or two and did our best trying to reassure Mariah that she is safe in her crib.  It wasn’t easy.  We were both exhausted and frustrated.  We got mad with each other’s differing techniques but tried our best to stay calm (a good friend of mine advised that anything said to each other after 2am should not ‘count’!).  My hope is that if we can keep it up for a few more nights, Mariah might realize her crib isn’t so bad and we can all start sleeping a bit better. 

Step 2 – Starting Solids
Mariah has been showing signs of being ready for solids starting around 4 months.  At that point we experimented by giving her ‘tastes’ of fruits and progressing up to some baby cereal and cookies.  The general recommendation used to be to start solids from 4-6 months beginning with certain vegetables, then fruits, and later to meats, etc.  However, the current trend is to wait until 6 months and then start introducing baby to a variety of pureed foods full force and then quickly progressing to minced and finger foods.  In fact, you’re encouraged to start with iron-rich foods like pureed meats, fish, and beans.  Since we’ve decided to make our own baby food…and since you’re encouraged to introduce a new food every 2 days to prevent fussiness, I decided to wait until Ivan was home to help me deal with the mealplanning and blending – just a couple of weeks after Mariah turned 6 months.  So far so good – she’s tried nectarines (loved), peas (spat at us), and today she’s going to try pureed grilled salmon!  All this food leads us to the final step of bootcamp – the part that’s more of a challenge for daddy and I:

Step 3 – Dealing with ‘real’ poop
Mariah wore disposable diapers for her first 2 months until I felt ready to switch to cloth diapers.  We launder them ourselves and the process has actually been much easier than I expected since breastmilk is water soluble, so even poopy diapers could go straight into the washing machine.  However, once solid foods are introduced, so too are bigger, messier poops!  This means either spraying or wiping the mess into the toilet before laundering so, again, something I wanted ‘back-up’ for before committing to myself.  So far it’s tolerable, but I’ve decided that if it begins to feel too overwhelming we’ll switch back to disposables guilt-free.

All in all, bootcamp is off to a good start and I’m hopeful that once the three of us get into a good routine, the rest of the summer might get easier and more exciting.  Who would have thought that our summer plans would literally revolve around baby's eating, sleeping, and pooping!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

3-6 Months


Today is a special day in our house, not just because it’s summer solstice, but because that marks Mariah’s “1/2 birthday” at 6 months old.  Her development has seemed exponential over these last three months.  She feels much less like a passive newborn these days and much more like an active baby, full of personality and character. 

Soon after she turned three months old, Mariah began trying a crunch motion like she was trying to sit up.  At that point, her rolling took a lot of energy and focus – she would slowly roll from tummy to back or vice versa and then stay there a while.  We discovered that one of her quirks is to rub her feet together often, looking like she’s trying to start a fire with them!  My favourite part of her three month development was that she started giggling.  She has a cute little squeaky chuckle that usually emerges when she’s playing with her daddy.  The funny thing is – I had heard her giggle in her sleep from the time she was about a month old but somehow it took her longer to learn how to do it awake.  She also went on her first plane ride to Ontario at three months and was a wonderful flyer.  I think she liked the white noise since she managed to sleep the whole way there and back.  She was showered with attention from our families there and didn’t seem to mind being away from home. 

At four months, Mariah had plenty of practice with rolling in both directions.  It no longer appeared forced, but gradually became more fluid and frequent.  She began the common baby hobby of sucking on her toes whenever they were in reach.  She suddenly switched from being oblivious around food to being very interested in it.  She would grab at our plates during mealtimes and we started to give her tastes of a few fruits like bananas, apples, and even mangoes.  Mariah and I started enjoying long walks almost daily.  She usually spends a few minutes enjoying the scenery and then falls asleep with the breeze and sounds of nature. Unfortunately for Ivan and I, 4 months was when Mariah went from being a good sleeper to a terrible sleeper.  Whereas she used to feed every 3 hours and sleep solidly in between for her first three months, she started having lots of trouble staying asleep around 4 months.  From that time until now, she’s become pretty restless at night – tossing and turning, wanting to feed every hour or two just to help her get back to sleep.  Apparently it’s quite common at this age due to teething so I have my fingers crossed that it’s just a stage!  

At five months, Mariah started to ‘talk’ less and yell more.  She fell in love with the jolly jumper and tends to shout happily when she’s in that.  However, she also started growling and grunting lots when she doesn’t get her way.  Around five and a half months she started attempts at crawling.  She gets up on all fours, rocks her body back and forth but then isn’t quite sure what to do next so she usually collapses in defeat and whines.  She’s very persistent and tries this all day long – each time with more skill than the last.  We cheer her on and keep thinking she’ll start crawling any minute, but since she’s 2 months ahead of the average schedule…I suppose she can take her time.  Even though she’s not on the move quite yet, she already seems hard to keep up with.  She likes playing with her toys but has a very short attention span and quickly moves from one to the next…and then to boredom.  I try my best to entertain her with books and cuddles, and the occasional t.v. show…but I usually run out of ideas by about 11am!  One solution has been a daily mother daughter bubble bath that we both thoroughly enjoy – it’s the highlight of my day (and I’d like to think hers too).  She loves water so much that we took her swimming a couple of times.  I think it is more confusing than fun to her at this point since she just stares at us wondering why we’re in the world’s biggest bathtub. 

Today’s 6 month mark is a bittersweet one for me.  In a way, I'm glad that I survived the chaos of motherhood until summer.  But on the other hand, I realize her development is soaring at the speed of light and that she’ll be a year before I have a chance to blink.  I’m trying hard to stay mindful and in the moment so that I can enjoy all of her precious moments.  Hopefully this blog will continue to help me keep centered and strike a balance between managing the many demands of motherhood while enjoying all it has to offer.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Natural care from Midwives vs. Medical Care from Doctors 101

Natural care from Midwives vs. Medical Care from Doctors 101

There are so many things I learned about womanhood and motherhood from my midwives.  I’ll never be able to capture the full essence of their wisdom with words, so instead I’ll just give you a taste of some food for thought.  Whereas hospitals view a labouring woman as a patient in need of medical intervention, midwives empower women to embrace the process and allow it to happen naturally.  Below is a summary of contrasts between Midwifery (M) and Western Medicine (WM) perspectives on childbirth.  Again, this is simply my understanding of the general consensus within each group – I realize there are exceptions to the rule.

Checking dilation
WM – In the weeks leading up to the due date, a woman should be checked for dilation to help estimate whether baby will arrive early, on time, or late.  In hospital births, women are often checked at regular intervals to track progress.
M – The onset of labour cannot be predicted.  Many women begin to dilate days or even a couple of weeks before baby’s arrival therefore it is irrelevant and unnecessary to check dilation prior.  Even during labour, dilation is only one of many indicators of progress.  Dilation is often hindered by stress and anxiety, therefore frequent checking can actually be counterproductive.  Some might even argue that farm animals are treated with more dignity than women since a labouring cow would be left alone since a farmer would likely be kicked in the head if he poked & prodded her every hour!

Length of Labour
WM – A woman’s labour is often hurried along by medical staff, with the underlying assumption that risks increase as time passes.  For example, if a woman’s water breaks, she is often told that she needs to deliver within 24 hours to avoid infection.
M – Each woman is different and will labour accordingly.  There is no real stopclock once labour begins – it can take hours or even days.  Even if a woman’s water breaks, her chance of infection is extremely low so it is unnecessary to react by speeding the process up.

Setting
WM – The hospital is the safest place for a woman and her baby.  It is important to have several medical staff present.
M – Unless indicators of risk arise, the best place to give birth is where the mother is most comfortable – which often means at home.  You can imagine how difficult it might be to give birth in a hospital bed if you compare being constipated and asked to have a bowel movement in front of strangers! 

Induction
WM – Once a woman reaches her due date, she may have to schedule a date for medical induction such as the use of pitocin or having her water broken with a needle.
M – A normal pregnancy lasts anywhere from 37-42 weeks, with first time moms usually at the longer end of the spectrum.  Induction is not usually discussed until about 41 weeks and 4 days – and natural methods (such as a castor oil concoction) are tried first.   Chemical induction is avoided since it can often begin a spiral effect of making further medical intervention ‘necessary’.

C-sections
WM – C-sections have become increasingly common in the last few decades and are used in more than 30% of North American births.  Apparently your chances jump even higher if you happen to be due right before Christmas or at other times that would be inconvenient for your doctor!
M – C-sections along with other medical intervention (e.g. forceps, vacuum, etc.) are needed in less than 5% of births.

Umbilical cord wrapped around baby’s neck
WM – This poses a serious threat to baby’s safety and warrants medical intervention to get baby out as soon as possible.
M – This is very common and not necessarily concerning unless there are other indicators of risk.  Many midwives have seen the cord wrapped around baby’s neck up to four times without harming baby in any way.

Risk of Hemorrhage
WM – It is unsafe for a woman to deliver outside of hospital since she could bleed excessively, putting herself at risk
M – The risk of hemorrhage during a natural childbirth is extremely low, but is often magnified in horrific media portrayals of childbirth.  Generally, excessive bleeding would only happen if the uterus fails to contract the placenta out after the baby is born.  Midwives offer an optional injection of pitocin as baby is emerging to help prevent this possibility and monitor bleeding carefully afterward to ensure mom’s safety.

Pain management
WM – The pain of childbirth is excruciating and unnecessary in today’s society.  Women would benefit from pain medication, such as an epidural, as soon as the pain becomes significant.
M – Contraction pains or ‘waves’ are necessary to help a mother’s body massage her baby out.  Epidurals are counterproductive since the numbing effect often makes it more difficult to push.  Natural pain management, such as water or acupressure points, are encouraged.

As you can see, I’ve become just slightly biased toward the natural view of childbirth.  The knowledge I gained from midwifery throughout my pregnancy allowed me to have such an amazing childbirth experience that I often catch myself daydreaming about the next time!  One last analogy I’ll leave you with when comparing a medical birth to a natural birth is considering the body’s reaction to consensual vs. non-consensual sex.  When a woman is comfortable and relaxed, the birth canal can expand for a positive and pleasurable experience.  Conversely, when a woman is scared, her body becomes tense and the same physical act can become painful and traumatic.  I don’t use this analogy to be dramatic or to suggest that medical professionals intentionally would ever intentionally harm a woman or her child.  However, I do feel that society’s shift toward medical hospital births is an injustice to women who are being convinced that they ‘need’ medical help to have babies.  I think we should listen to Dorothy and Oprah: we’ve had the power within us all along and we just need to embrace it!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My personal and spiritual evolution under midwife care during pregnancy, delivery & post-partum

Like many new moms, I found my pregnancy and delivery to be a transformative experience.  Some of that was obviously due to the process of motherhood itself.  However, I also attribute a significant amount of this spiritual awakening to the gentle care I received from midwives.  When I began receiving prenatal care at Birth Partnership Midwifery Services, I felt like I was walking into appointments with my eyes tightly shut.  I was torn between my dependency on Western medicine thus far, with my interest in natural childbirth.  However, at that point, my interest remained focused on just that – natural childbirth with no intention to further explore the world of natural healing.  At one of my first appointments, during a discussion with my midwife about the possibility of post-partum depression, she told me about how women in some cultures eat their placentas to balance their hormones and how even in our urban hometown, there’s a service that will encapsulate your placenta for consumption (http://www.purebirth.ca/placentaencapsulation.htm).  I was so turned off by the thought that I didn’t even have time to put on a poker face – I just looked disgusted and thought to myself ‘I would never do that’.  Well, as it turns out – ‘never say never!’.
During the course of my pregnancy, I gradually shifted from a being skeptic to a believer and proud user of natural remedies.  I used judge people who ‘wasted their money’ in the health food store…to being someone who is now willing to pay a bit extra for natural products.   Below are just a few of the natural remedies that I tried and found to be incredibly effective alternatives to Western medicine:

For Pregnancy-related issues:
Papaya enzyme tablets – to treat heartburn
Shredded potato  - to treat hemorrhoids (okay, I never tried this one cause I was scared of potatoes falling out of my pants…but apparently it works!)

To prepare for birth at full-term:
Homeopathic ‘EZ birth’ pellets – to help body prepare for dilation, anxiety, and pain
Evening primrose oil capsules – to help ripen cervix
Red raspberry tea – to help prepare uterus to contract
Acupuncture treatment and acupressure point training for labour

Post Partum:
Evening primrose oil capsules – to balance mood
Valerian tincture – to reduce anxiety
Homeopathic Coffea – to calm and reassure
Rescue Remedy Bach Flower – to calm and reassure
Placenta Capsules – to restore iron and nutrients lost during delivery in order to balance hormones, increase energy, and stabilize mood
Homeopathic Arnica Montana – to promote healing
Homeopathic Calendula – to promote healing

Infant Care:
Breastmilk - apply to baby's dry/irritated skin or lips
Sunlight - to treat mild jaundice

As you can see from my long and growing list – natural remedies have truly changed the way I view my body and health.  So if you happen to be the skeptic I used to be – I dare you to try just one natural remedy the next time you have an ache, pain, or other health difficulty, to see if you might be converted too.