Morning Madness

Hands down, the hardest part of going back to work has been the process of learning how to get our entire family ready and off to our respective work/school/daycare each morning.  As a dose of reality for those single readers who complain about how tired they are each morning (poor you), just wanted to share a typical day in our home…

Disclaimer: The following description involves excessive use of bribery and negotiating, which I do not endorse as appropriate for dealing with a toddler.  However, in the morning, my parenting style tends to switch into survival mode. 

6am – Ivan & I wake up.  He gets showered and ready double time and I do the basics…if I’m lucky – hit the can, brush my teeth, tie my bedhead into a pony tail and perhaps switch from pajamas into sweats.

6:30am – Ivan wakes Kassiah up and gets her dressed.  I open Rya’s door, and prevent a meltdown by allowing her to wake up on her own with the bit of light and noise that seeps into her room over the next few minutes.  I head down to the couch with Chubz, who says ‘this’ while she points to my boob and grabs it out of my shirt if I haven’t already done so.  While she nurses, I brush her hair and stick a couple of pig tails in it.

6:45am – Ivan bolts out the door, usually forgetting his lunch and/or cell

phone, to make his daily 45 minute commute to the other end of town (which as Torontonians we would have scoffed at, but as Calgarians – that’s quite a trek).  Usually Rya wakes up around this time, so Chubz and I go upstairs to get her and I walk back down with one in each arm.  I plop them both on the couch and put on some good old Sesame Street.  I gently warn Rya that we need to get ready for school soon and she stalls by saying something like ‘just a minute, I need to watch t.v. first’.  I negotiate with her to avoid another meltdown.

6:46am – Rya says ‘pee-pee’ so I take both girls to the bathroom and sit Rya on the pot where she simultaneously pees and asks for a treat, like a well-trained dog.  I hand her a fruit snack and she says ‘and one for my sister’ – so I hand her another and Chubz is very grateful.

6:47am – I start changing Rya’s clothes and she stalls by saying something like ‘just a minute, let me eat my treat first, like quickly, like hurry’. I negotiate to prevent another meltdown and pretend I have control by saying ‘okay, but then you have to get ready nicely’. 

6:49am – I start to change Rya into the clothes I have already laid on the couch the night before, while she squirms and complains they’re itchy.  Then, I give Rya her asthma puffers, get her to gargle, and then brush her teeth.

6:52am – I try to brush Rya’s crazy hair, she yanks her head away saying it hurts so I quickly get the worst knots out and throw it in a pony tail that looks almost as messy as my own.

6:53am - I leave Rya on the couch and take Chubz to the mud room to wrestle on her boots, mitts, hat, and jacket, before heading into the garage to stick her in the car.

6:55am – I return to the couch with Rya’s outerwear, only to be told that she ‘needs’ some random object, like a highlighter or flashlight, from the farthest end of the house.  I tell her no and she starts to lose her mind a little so I drop an F-bomb in my head and search for her object.  I pretend I’m in control by saying ‘Rya, I will get it and then we need to get ready nicely, okay?’

6:56am – I put on Rya’s boots, mitts, hat, and jacket – then she tells me she wants a different coloured set today so I switch them in a desperate attempt to get her out the door. 

6:58 – I come back in the house to collect my own jacket and sanity, before starting the car.

7:00 – drive around the corner to Kassiah’s dayhome and carry her to the door, while dropping at least one of her boots in the snow. 

7:05am – drive a few more minutes down the road to Rya’s daycare, therapizing her on the way about ‘let’s try no crying today’.  I get Rya out of the car and head toward the door, but she insists I let her touch the Christmas tree light before heading inside…and I unenthusiastically oblige – seeing that it represents the light at the end of the tunnel.

7:06am – sit down in a big comfy chair in the lobby with Rya to ‘take a deep breath’ before heading into school.  I help Rya out of her outerwear, into her indoor shoes and hand her off to her teacher.  I give her a thumbs up and she tries to the do the same – but usually uses her pointer finger by accident.

7:08am – I head back to the car, getting dirty looks from the other parents who somehow must have a mysterious hair and makeup team helping them get ready in the morning.

7:13 – tell myself I don’t need Timmy’s today and then find myself driving to Timmy’s.

7:25am - get back home to shower, change, and treat myself to an omelette as a reward for my hard work.

8am – head out for work to ‘start my day’!!!