A little part of me...

Although Mariah used to enjoy being passed from person to person as an infant, she’s recently started to become very fussy when she’s away from mommy & daddy.  During visits with family and friends, she prefers to cling to us than to be carried by anyone else.  When I leave the room, even for a moment, Mariah starts to cry and chases after me.  Background noises that didn't use to phase her, like the shower or vacuum, now send Mariah scurrying to my feet in a panic.  And my poor aunts have been tortured by her loud and dramatic tears & screams when they try their best to babysit.

I was beginning to think we had somehow ‘spoiled’ her already, but I did a bit of research and learned that it is all quite normal for her age (http://www.babycenter.ca/baby/development/socialandemotional/independence/).  Around 6 months, babies usually start to experience some separation anxiety.  Apparently this sense of ‘stranger danger’ stems from the fact that they are starting to realize that they are individuals who aren’t actually part of their mommies.  When I first read this, I thought it was so cute, in a condescending sort of way – that a baby could mistakenly believe they were part of their mommy.  But when you think about it for a moment, a baby is created inside of mommy’s tummy and lives there for 9 months, so at one point, Mariah truly was ‘a little part of me’.  While it’s taken her several months for her to realize that she’s now a separate person, maybe it’s taken me the same amount of time to forget that we were once physically connected.  In fact, I wonder whether a mother's sudden adjustment to losing this part of themselves during childbirth is one of many factors that contribute to post-partum depression.  Another reason for separation anxiety is that babies under one year haven’t yet established an understanding of ‘object permanency’ (i.e. when you leave their sight, even for a moment, they think you’re “gone” and may not return).  Again, my first reaction was ‘silly Mariah, of course I’ll come back’.  But when you put yourself in baby’s tiny shoes from a survival perspective, it’s perfectly logical to fear separation from your parents since “cavebabies” really didn’t know whether their mommy or daddy would return each time they left.  

So I’m starting to give this kid a bit more credit and trying to see things from her innocent eyes.  Next time she gets startled by a dog barking and scoots her little self over to me, I’ll just give her a hug and assure her it’s not a predator (and I’ll try to enjoy those moments of closeness since I’m sure she won’t want to cling to me forever!).