With four months of being a stay-at-home-mom under my belt, I must say that my greatest challenge so far has been walking the tightrope of enjoying my baby yet staying on top of my never-ending to do list. I’ve been through some pendulum swings between trying to be a 1950s supermom who manages household chores without dropping a bead of sweat on her apron…to ‘calling in sick’ some days and just soaking up precious time cuddling with Mariah.
On supermom days, I feel like a competent, productive, and efficient machine who can take pride in her tangible accomplishments. The day starts with extreme multi-tasking as I somehow manage to bathe and dress myself and Mariah. When she’s awake, I set her in her infant chair to do some vacuuming and when she naps I squeeze in time to fold clothes. My sparkling floors and empty laundry hampers temporarily lower my stress level, and I picture serving Ivan a hot meal with a smile on my face when he gets home from work. However, after a full day of depleting the little energy I have, Ivan is more likely to return home to an irritable wife who foolishly traded her afternoon nap time for the illusion of ‘getting ahead’ on chores that will never end. And to top it all off, daddy will also likely be handed a cranky baby before he has time to take his shoes off, since Mariah had a boring day watching me clean and getting frustrated when I ignore her requests for attention.
On my sick days, I sleep-in as long as Mariah will let me and we stay in our pajamas all day. The only multi-tasking I do is to microwave a frozen meal while carrying her. We pass time by cuddling, reading books, listening to music, and watching t.v. together. I bask in her beauty as I watch her fall asleep and then snuggle up so I can join her nap. I try my best not to look at or think about the many chores that need to be done. On these days, Ivan might return to a happy wife and content baby…but the house is a mess and there’s no dinner in sight.
As you can see, each of these days has its pros and cons. In fact, both are probably necessary here and there to remind me how to prioritize my time. What I’ve learned (slowly and through trial and error) is that the key to walking the tightrope of mommyhood is to incorporate the best of both worlds. I think twice about whether something is necessary before adding it to my to-do list, use strategies like doing one load of laundry a day instead of 5 all at once, spend at least an hour cuddling and napping with baby, and try to squeeze in a walk instead of extra chores. I know this year is a work in progress and I’m sure I will still have my fair share of ‘bad days’, but for now this is my plan to stay balanced.
A journey, not a task. I remember my parnter telling me that when I got frustrated becuase I felt that I could never finish anything, till I realized that as a parent, you are never done, which depressed me all the more at the time. I never realized that I was sort of a "project focused person". Eventually I figured out, sort of, that balance that you talk about, I still have days I'm falling off that tight rope (normally on the "day off side" actually).
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that your high wire act is developing.
Thanks for the validation, Jory. Wow, Amanda gives great advice - I'll repeat that mantra to myself too!
ReplyDelete