Through Her Eyes

Since Rya’s usually busy harassing her sister or having a tantrum, I feel like she sometimes gets a bad rap for being ‘the bad one’.  But then I remember that she’s two!...and that she was just as sweet as Kassiah when she was her age.  We still try to balance our attention between the two and make sure Rya always feels included, but I’m sure there are times when she gets irritated at how much we talk about baby’s cuteness (which we can’t help, cause Chubz really is too darn cute).   Since Kassiah is usually at the receiving end of the bullying, I tend to ‘take her side’ and get upset with Rya often.  But I recently thought of an analogy that kind of helps me empathize with her a bit more:

I suppose in Rya’s mind, she is, was, and forever will be mine & Ivan’s baby – it’s a vital part of her identity.  Just like I’m the wife/mom and Ivan’s the husband/dad.  So when little #2 showed up one day, that just totally threw a wrench in Rya’s understanding of the world around her.  Us adults try to use logic to reassure her that we still love her and that she’s still important, but almost a year later, she’s still adjusting to a major life change.  So to take a look through her eyes, I guess this would almost be like if I came home from work one day and Ivan introduced me to his new wife!!!  To add insult to injury, she just happens to be younger and arguably cuter than me.  Ivan might assure me that I will always be his wife and he will always love me, but I would still be pretty crushed.  He would sit me down and explain to me that as the ‘older wife’ I would need to move into my own room so that he could share a bed with the ‘new wife’.  She would start doing the chores that I had done for years, but all of a sudden they would be good enough for waves of positive reinforcement: “Wow, new wife – you folded my shirts so well” “Great job, new wife, this meal is amazing!”.  Now even if this lady happened to be a lovely person, I would probably take every chance I could get to elbow her in the hallway or maybe even knock her down a stair or two.  According to Big Love, I may start to become fond of her eventually – we might have chats over coffee or go shopping together…but it would take a very long time to get there.  I know it’s a bit extreme – but this idea really helped me understand Mariah’s perspective a bit better ; )

Currently, that little monkey is in her bed with a bit of a tummy bug.  It’s the first time she’s been able to say ‘my tummy hurts’, but she doesn’t quite understand the cause and effect part.  Usually when she gets a boo-boo it’s because she’s fallen down on rocks or something so she keeps trying to figure out who or what made her tummy hurt.  We had gone to a restaurant for lunch so afterward she told me ‘the lady pinched me’ – I’m guessing she crafted an image in her mind of the waitress squishing her tummy enough to turn it into a boo-boo.  I’d better go check on her, so hope you all enjoy this read : )

This house is now a home

Just 3 weeks after our move, I am glad to say that our house is already starting to feel like a home.  It was a bit rocky at first, but we’re all feeling very settled now.  I tried hard to explain the move to Rya before it happened, but it’s pretty difficult to be logical with a two year-old.  When we were still doing trips back and forth between houses, I said to Rya “this is our old house and tomorrow we’re going to our new house”.  Her insightful response was “mama, this no house, this home”.  Up until that point, I guess I had always referred to our home as just that – and so Rya literally and figuratively thought that it couldn’t be anything other than her home.  For the first few days after the move, every time we pulled up in the driveway and announced “we’re home”, Rya would declare from the backseat: “no, not this one”.  Sometimes she would complain “it’s too big” (not because it is, but because that’s the only description she could think of to differentiate the houses…just like she calls any food she doesn’t like ‘too spicy’ and says ‘brrr, too cold’ when she doesn’t want to go outside...even in 25 degree weather!). 

Once we managed to convince Rya that this home was the best place for us, Ivan and I had to test our own decision as well.  One of the main reasons we decided to move was because our research suggested that it would be several years before our previous community, Copperfield, would ever get a school.  And then…on our closing date…we heard the announcement on the radio that the provincial budget allocated funds for several new schools in Calgary including one right down the street from our ‘old house’.  Ivan spent the evening slapping his forehead and I spent the evening trying to convince him that it was still the right decision, even though I was wondering if I was telling the truth.  But after letting the information soak in for a few days, we quickly remembered the many other reasons we had wanted to move.  Our new location really suits us well.  So far we’ve gone for short evening walks to the pool, for dinner, for ice cream…and of course to Calgary’s newest Target store.  We’ve also managed to find a family doctor, a Montessori school for Rya, and a dayhome for baby – all close to home.  And probably the nicest bonus, is a close walk to the community lake, which is actually a lot nicer than I had even imagined.  I’ve always found water to be calming, and it’s nice to know that the girls can always have that option nearby.  The house itself is really cozy and practical.  The finished basement is a nice place to leave messy for the babies, and even has a mini-sized playroom that Ivan has essentially transformed into a classroom.  I definitely miss the shiny-ness that can only come with a brand new house.  But when I join Ivan’s vivid daydreams of what our fixer upper will look like after a few renovations, I fall in love with it even more.

All in all, we’re really happy with our ‘new old’ home, and are moving through the stages of grief for the new old house we left ; )

On the move...

As some of you may already know – today was moving day for us!  Ivan & I made a somewhat impulsive, yet well researched decision to move this year…and it ended up happening faster than expected.  In December we started thinking about finishing the basement to add a guestspace since Rya decided the double bed we had intended for guests is actually hers.  By December we realized it would probably cost more to finish the basement than a new downpayment so we told ourselves we would ‘just look’ this year and maybe move next year.  By February I convinced Ivan that interest rates are too good to pass up so when we found a house we loved in March, we went for it.  We quickly organized and staged our house and must’ve done a good job since it sold on the first day on the market (which Ivan was very relieved about since he had to coordinate a carpet cleaning appointment with 3 showings and 2 babies!).  Our adrenalyn helped us to pack up within our 30 day move and today it finally became real.  Ivan & I loaded & unloaded a truck with all the boxes we could squeeze in and are getting some friends to help with the heavy stuff tomorrow…plus of course babysitters to help the process go smoother. 

I definitely have some mixed feelings about our move since our house has been so special to us.  I literally had my babies in this house (which I did not advertise on MLS), and Ivan and I transformed from a couple into parents here.  This house was brand new so we’ve enjoyed the luxury of low maintenance and more space than we need.  Don’t get me wrong – I love my walk-in closet and soaker tub…but we re-evaluated our wishlist and realized that those have fallen lower on our priority list.  Our new area also means we don’t yet have a school and although we could wait a couple more years, it isn’t looking promising.  Our current neighborhood is quiet, but that’s also because it’s not exactly near anything.  The neighborhood we’re moving to is called ‘Sundance’, which reminds us a bit more of ‘home’ in Toronto.  Our house is a 15 minute walk to everything from the train station to shopping to a YMCA.  It’s one of Calgary’s lake communities so we can take the kids for a dip and even canoeing or paddleboating in the summer!  And it has all 3 levels of schools so our girls won’t have to wake up early for long bus rides.  Since it’s a more established community, the house we bought is older and a bit smaller – but we’re actually happy about that since it seems to have more practical space than we have now.  The basement is finished with a guestroom and even has a tiny little playroom that will be a perfect hideout for the kiddies.  It’s a split-level style of house, which I’ve always really wanted for the cozy factor.  Ivan’s going to miss his garden, but the new yard has a large deck we love and the the house has a wood burning fireplace, which he’s always wanted.  All in all, the few things we’ll miss are small compared to the many things we love about our new home and neighborhood. 

So off I go to bed for the last time in Copperfield…and fingers crossed that Rya adjusts to her new home as quickly as we do. 

Mrs. Dubbies

Since I apparently forgot to share any new updates on baby in my last post, I will catch up with a blog entirely about her.  First off, we are still finding it nearly impossible to call her by her name, so poor little Kassiah is usually referred to as Chubbz, Chubbies, Chubba-Doosky, or Chubby Dubbies.  My mom keeps reminding me that we’d better stop before she understands and gets offended, so the best we can do is call her ‘Mrs. Dubbies’ as a code word : )

Mrs. Dubbies is 9 months old today!  Whereas I didn’t really feel the ‘time flies’ syndrome so much with Rya, it is totally true with Mrs. Dubbies.  I guess since it’s harder to stop and enjoy the little moments when you have two, Mrs. Dubbies seems to be growing up overnight.  She still sleeps in my bed (which I have to admit, I’m far more addicted to than she is) and it never fails that in my sleepy daze I wonder why Mariah is still breastfeeding since Mrs. Dubbies is so big that she can’t possibly be my ‘baby’.  Lucky for us her cuddliness persists throughout the day as well.  Some babies push you away when you lean in for a hug or kiss…but not Mrs. Dubbies.  She leans right back in and usually ends up with her face hiding in the crevice of your neck.  As the name suggests, Mrs. Dubbies continues to have rolls upon rolls of places to kiss and she usually shrieks and then giggles when you do.  Her other noises include ‘ba-ba-ba’s (which she does extras of when she sees a phone), ‘aaaah’ (which daddy taught her to do when he pours warm water on her back at bath time), and care of her older sister’s annoying habit: ‘eh-eh-eh’, when she wants something out of reach.  Sometimes Mrs. Dubbies combines her ba-ba’s with the action of banging her face against the couch cushions when she pulls herself up to a stand.  And she learned ‘the hard way’ that it’s not a good idea to try this on the bathtub or the dining table!

Mrs. Dubbies’ has a love-hate relationship with her big sister.  She has mostly learned to avoid her since Rya loves to push, kick & bite for no other reason than jealousy and because she can.  But when the two of them are sitting down quietly together, it’s usually because Rya’s feeding Mrs. Dubbies some fries or nuggets, which Mrs. Dubbies is smarter enough to enjoy in silence.  Mrs. Dubbies is slowly starting to experiment with crawling and independence.  She seems more content at night after Rya’s bedtime since she knows she can roam around without any threats nearby.  But their (and Ivan’s) favourite time of day is laying them both down in bed together when they first wake up in the morning.  Sometimes Rya plays with Mrs. Dubbies hair and they chat away together for several minutes until one gets tired of the girl time.  It’s such a nice image of the future – can’t wait to watch our girls turn into bff’s!

Fun in the Sun

Nearly 5 years after our destination wedding, Ivan and I decided it was finally about time for another hot getaway.  The four of us just returned from a week in Florida together, visiting ‘Oma & Papa’ (Ivan’s dad & stepmom).  We’ve never been away during the winter before, so it almost felt like we were cheating nature to escape the snow and trade it in for palm trees. 

Since Mariah recently turned two, it was her first time needing her own seat on the plane.  We thought this might make life easier since she usually enjoys feeling like a big girl.  But one thing she likes more than independence is being a rebel – so she was not very happy with the flight attendants who insisted that she sit down with her seatbelt on.  Ivan and I wised up on the flight back – we left at bedtime, and had plenty of lollipops, coloring books, and a handy little blanket that just happened to cover the area where Mariah’s seatbelt may or may not have been buckled. 

But all the heartache of flying was well worth the excitement of the trip.  Oma & Papa have a winter home right on a canal, so each morning we awoke to a sunny sky overlooking the calm water.  Rya fell right into place since she has thoroughly been missing fresh air and outdoor activities.  She would run outside in her pajamas each day to talk to the dogs and sort rocks.  Some days we fished off the dock or hopped onto the pontoon boat for a quick ride down the canal.  We had a good balance of small sightseeing and shopping trips, and made pit stops at some great restaurants.  But best of all was the beach, which had lots in store for everyone.  Ivan and his dad smiled from ear to ear as they flew the kites they had spent the first couple of days making together.  Oma and her little bff snuggled and enjoyed long walks on the beach together.  Rya spent hours playing in the sand as I laid down next to her enjoying the sun.  And every now and then we all gave in to the temptation of the crashing waves, for a quick dip.  It was nice to see the girls spending quality time with their grandparents, and of course, it was an added bonus to have babysitters on hand so that Ivan and I could squeeze in some rest too : )

Papa G & Kassiah

Oma and her pal