Since Rya’s usually busy harassing her sister or having a
tantrum, I feel like she sometimes gets a bad rap for being ‘the bad one’. But then I remember that she’s
two!...and that she was just as sweet as Kassiah when she was her age. We still try to balance our attention
between the two and make sure Rya always feels included, but I’m sure there are
times when she gets irritated at how much we talk about baby’s cuteness (which
we can’t help, cause Chubz really is too darn cute). Since Kassiah is usually at the receiving end of the
bullying, I tend to ‘take her side’ and get upset with Rya often. But I recently thought of an analogy
that kind of helps me empathize with her a bit more:
I suppose in Rya’s mind, she is, was, and forever will be
mine & Ivan’s baby – it’s a vital part of her identity. Just like I’m the wife/mom and Ivan’s
the husband/dad. So when little #2
showed up one day, that just totally threw a wrench in Rya’s understanding of
the world around her. Us adults
try to use logic to reassure her that we still love her and that she’s
still important, but almost a year later, she’s still adjusting to a major life
change. So to take a look through
her eyes, I guess this would almost be like if I came home from work one day
and Ivan introduced me to his new wife!!!
To add insult to injury, she just happens to be younger and arguably
cuter than me. Ivan might assure
me that I will always be his wife and he will always love me, but I would still
be pretty crushed. He would sit me
down and explain to me that as the ‘older wife’ I would need to move into my
own room so that he could share a bed with the ‘new wife’. She would start doing the chores that I
had done for years, but all of a sudden they would be good enough for waves of positive
reinforcement: “Wow, new wife – you folded my shirts so well” “Great job, new
wife, this meal is amazing!”. Now
even if this lady happened to be a lovely person, I would probably take every
chance I could get to elbow her in the hallway or maybe even knock her down a
stair or two. According to Big
Love, I may start to become fond of her eventually – we might have chats over
coffee or go shopping together…but it would take a very long time to get
there. I know it’s a bit extreme –
but this idea really helped me understand Mariah’s perspective a bit better ; )
Currently, that little monkey is in her bed with a bit of a
tummy bug. It’s the first time
she’s been able to say ‘my tummy hurts’, but she doesn’t quite understand the
cause and effect part. Usually
when she gets a boo-boo it’s because she’s fallen down on rocks or something so
she keeps trying to figure out who or what made her tummy hurt. We had gone to a restaurant for lunch
so afterward she told me ‘the lady pinched me’ – I’m guessing she crafted an
image in her mind of the waitress squishing her tummy enough to turn it into a
boo-boo. I’d better go check on
her, so hope you all enjoy this read : )
