Smiley Poo

Since poor little Kassiah usually has to share everything with her sister, including blog airtime, I’m going to try and focus on her today.  And believe me, focusing on her is not hard to do since she is a big, fat, chunker!  Let’s see, how can I explain just how chubby she is?  Well, for starters, it looks like she’s wearing invisible bracelets where the chub on her bear paw hands meets her sausage forearms.  And her poor little ‘cankles’ get temporarily embroidered with elastic designs when she wears socks for too long.  Oh and don’t let me get started on those cheeks – I’m not entirely sure if they’re adequately secured to her face!

Kassiah’s healthy appetite keeps me busy since she still likes to snack about every 3 hours 24-7.  But it’s hard to say no to someone as cute as her!  It doesn’t take much to make little “Tu-tu’s” happy.  If anyone gives her the slightest bit of attention – a cuddle, a coo, a tickle, anything – her lips can’t help but break out into a huge smile.  She truly is a happy baby: smiling in her sleep, taking breaks from nursing to smile, and her ultimate smile – on poop day.  Kassiah is an all or nothing type of girl so she usually saves all of her poop for about a week and then gets rid of it all at once.  Then she’s so thrilled with herself that she grins even more than usual…hence the name “Smiley Poo”!

She’s even started to chuckle recently, which is so contagious.  Sometimes I give her thunder thighs a tight horse bite just to hear Kassiah crack right up.  Aside from having smiles and rolls aplenty, Kassiah also has a thick head of hair.  Most ethnic babies are born with a decent amount of hair.  I thought Mariah had lots, until I had Kassiah who was literally born needing a haircut.  All these features put together make her look like an actual little doll.  I’ve been told that if they made an Aboriginal Cabbage Patch doll, it would look just like Kassiah! 

As for that big sister of her's, I’ll let her speak for herself this blog with some of her latest utterings:

‘gushting’ (Translation = disgusting…her comment when I watered down her milk from the bathroom faucet since I was too lazy to go to the fridge)

‘wo coash’ (Translation = whoah close…when she does something dangerous like climbing on top of the sofa and then almost falling)

‘bizzy’ (Translation = busy…how she responded to my request to play blocks today when she was pretending the package was a briefcase)

‘pisey’ (Translation = spicy…the way she describes curry and/or snow before making a face and then taking another big bite)

‘me shew’ (Translation = miss you…the way she makes Nana’s heart melt)

‘aaah skeh-wee’ (Translation – aaah scary…she screams whenever she passes the front door since we was a bit traumatized by Halloween)
'coash...go' (Translation = close the door and go away are her instructions to me when she wants to do something sneaky like smear diaper cream on her feet)

Yup, those are my girls lately!

Honey, I'm home!

The old me would laugh, instead I try not to cry

Whoever said staying home was easy - they told a big lie.

Note to self: he’ll be home soon – try hard to be nice

He’s the best husband ever, the love of my life!

He’s helpful, he’s handy, and a great daddy too,

I’ll greet him with a kiss and say ‘it’s so great to see you!’

Uh-oh, I hear the babies – that nap didn’t last

I could have squeezed in a shower, I should have moved fast.

Thank God, there’s the door, daddy’s finally here!

I sigh with relief and the babies start to cheer.

‘Honey, I’m home…that dinner smells great!’

“What’s that supposed to mean?  And why are you late?!?”

Oh crap – hold it together, that’s not what I meant.

But it’s so hard to be friendly when I’m utterly spent.

Let’s try this again – I should ask him about his day:

“Can you hold the baby, and put the laundry away?”

‘I will in a sec, let me take off my shoes…

Did the girls give you trouble? Are you feeling the baby blues?’

“No! I’m just fine!” I defensively say.

In my head, the greeting didn’t quite go this way.

Despite all of that, I get a hug and a kiss,

Now I finally remember the hubby I missed.

I’ll try again tomorrow to be a good mom and wife,

Right after I clean the kitchen and chase after my life!

Baby Brain

Baby Brain

Throw the dish in the oven, note to self: ‘do not burn’

How I wish daddy were home so he could take a turn.

Teach the big one her colours, teach the little one to roll

Just found my first grey – mommyhood sure takes its toll.

‘Come on, eat your snack’, we’ve got no time to spare

Oh dear, how did my gum wind up in your hair?

And oatmeal on your shirt, after I just got you dressed!

If only I could trade in some chores for a rest.

The laundry pile keeps growing, the kitchen won’t stay clean,

I would love to be nice, but my bark is getting mean.

Change a bum, pay some bills, don’t forget to clean the tub,

The little one just spat-up, I guess she needs a scrub.

Note to self: ‘they’ll grow up fast, just enjoy them while you can’

Easy to say, hard to do…maybe it was written by a man

Phew – they’re both napping, should I take a wee break?

Hmmm, skipping naps is usually my biggest mistake.

Okay, maybe just for a minute…but why do I hear a bell?

Not the phone, not the alarm - oh S#*&, what’s that smell?

Gassy Kassy and Rya the Ball of Fya'

Incase any of you have been wondering whether I’ll be changing the blog name (since I’m sure it keeps you up at night ; ) I’ve decided to keep it.  Since Rya is turning into a nurturing little assistant mother herself, I now interpret it as mommyhood with Mariah!  So here’s the latest scoop on my girls:

Gassy Kassy

As the name implies, Kassiah has a bit of an embarrassing problem.  Despite her sweet little appearance, she manages to make the stinkiest farts that even sound like they should come from an adult.  I make sure to quickly tease out loud her when they happen in public so no-one suspects that I did it.  Just like Rya, we barely remember Kassiah’s real name since we prefer to call her by nicknames.  Her main one at the moment is ‘Tu-Tu’ (don’t ask…Ivan usually picks the names and there’s no method to his madness).  Tu-tu has really awoken to the world around her in the last couple of weeks.  She’s started giving huge smiles when you talk to her, that light up her face and make her many chins squish together.  And she’s starting to try and ‘talk’ back with coos and gurgles.  My mom is in town to help for a couple more weeks and she has become Tu-tu’s bff.  She loves snuggling up on her Nana’s shoulder or just lying in bed next to her for some pillow talk. 

Rya the Ball of Fya’

Rya’s vocabulary is really exploding these days since she picks things up without us even realizing (which probably means I should stop swearing around her soon).  My favourite words of hers are: ‘barsh’ (barf - which she says while trying to help me wipe baby’s spit-up), ‘yush’ (yes – which she uses to answer all questions even if they’re not yes/no ones), ‘bass’ (bath – her favourite time of the day), ‘are yee?’ (where are you – she exclaims whenever she’s looking for someone/something), ‘ha-woah’ (hello – as she greets the operator on the phone when she pulls it off the hook), ‘aww-ee’ (sorry – which she enjoys saying so much that she sometimes purposely smacks the baby just so she can say it), and my all-time favourite: ‘co-co-kadoo’ (cockadoodledoo!). 

I’ve started taking her to a playgroup where she not only continues to bully her bud, Cam, but also the kids around her – even when they’re bigger than her.  “No-no!” she shouts as she takes toys away from them, pushes them out of her way, or just gives them her infamous dirty scowl for no reason.  I do my best to chase after her when it gets out of hand, but I’m really lucky that most moms are understanding and sometimes even find it funny.  When other moms see Rya pulling Cam by the hand or hugging him against his wishes, they usually laugh and say something like ‘I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship!’.  And like most good wives, Liza and I just smile because we know who wear the pants in our own marriages ; )  I’m definitely a bit concerned about how Rya’s little attitude might evolve over time.  But from a teacher’s perspective, Ivan tries to remind me that it’s sometimes easier to teach a bully to play nice than it is to teach a passive child to stand up for themselves.  So when she’s not being too wild, I try to bite my tongue and be glad that she’s going to be a confident girl who is very comfortable in her own skin. 

And to leave you with a funny story to laugh at: Ivan recently taught her to pretend it’s a magic trick when puts a blanky over Tu-tu and then pulls it off screaming Tada!  So now when I try and feed baby discretely under a nursing cover, Rya runs over and exposes her poor mama, shouting Tada!

'This One and That One'

Life with two baby girls is busy, but full of excitement.  People ask if we’ve started to mix their names up as yet, but so far we usually refer to Mariah & Kassiah by nicknames or as ‘this one and that one’ (where Kassiah is the default ‘this one’ and Mariah is ‘that one’…unless one of us is holding Mariah in which case she becomes ‘this one’ and Ivan and I both end up confused!).  I suppose it’s a bit early to tell, but at this point we’re predicting that they’ll have opposite personalities, kind of like Ivan and I:

This One (a.k.a. Kassiah)…

How can I say this politely?  Well I can’t – Kassiah is a bit of a crybaby.  She seems to be a stressball like her mama; usually looking nervous and tense.  Her favorite hobbies include whining and complaining, but she has such a cute squeaky little voice that it’s hard not to give in to her constant requests for cuddles or snacks.  In fact, she’s snacked so much that she’s grown from a tiny 6 pound 7 ounce newborn into a chubby little 10 pound ball, who carries most of her weight in her cheeks.  As evidenced by the bags under my eyes, Kassiah prefers to nurse for a few minutes every couple of hours rather than doing good efficient feeds that would help her sleep for longer stretches.  Whereas Mariah was a calm baby who occasionally screamed her head off, Kassiah prefers to spread her emotions more evenly by spending much of her time releasing a mild ‘whaah’.  She’s definitely not colicky, but she’s a fussy little diva who loves lots of attention and affection. 

Of course we love this little girl to pieces, but to be honest, it’s been a slower forming bond than it was with our ‘first born’.  With Mariah, we had endless hours to gaze into her eyes, reflect on how our lives changed, and just enjoy each new sign of her development.  We still have moments like those with Kassiah, but since we’re trying hard to continue giving Mariah lots of attention, it’s hard to always stay present with the little one.  In a way though, it helps us appreciate our time with her even more, since we try to squeeze in as many hugs and kisses as we can when we’re with her.

‘That One’ (a.k.a. Mariah)

Where do I begin?  Mariah continues to grow into an active, clever, and naughty little monkey!  Now, since us parents love to find excuses for our children’s behavior, I will give you the objective and subjective versions:

1)   Mariah is the latest type of vegetarian – the type who just so happens to not eat vegetables.  Translation: Mariah has once again become a picky eater who would much rather pull out any shreds of protein or nutrition I sneak into her lunch, and just eat a bowl of plain rice or pasta.  Luckily for us though, she has become addicted to popsicles so Ivan tricks her with healthy ones filled with beets, carrots, yogurt and whatever other vitamins he can stuff them with. 

2)    Mariah is a leader, not a follower.  Translation: She’s somewhere between a bossy-boots and a bully.  Whenever she visits with her friend, Cam, who’s just 3 months younger, she steals his toys and aggressively herds him around as if she were twice his age.  And if you think she’d be any better with adults – guess again.  Mariah has taken to back-talking her father and I in angry baby jabber.  At first was cute and hilarious, but since we don’t want her to become a brat…we have to try hard to hide our smiles and remind her that we’re the parents.

3)    Mariah responds really well to positive reinforcement.  Translation: She’s a bit of an attention seeker.  Whenever she says a new word or does something impressive – she insists on repeating it in front of each adult in the room until everyone has acknowledged her.
4)  Mariah is a free spirit who dances to the beat of her own drum.  Translation: She's wild.  

In all honesty though, Mariah is truly blossoming into a gorgeous, charismatic little girl who always manages to bring smiles to everyone around her.  Her vocabulary expands each day and is probably somewhere around 50 words right now.  She calls herself ‘Rya’ and the nickname suits her just fine since it’s a bit less dainty and a bit more tomboy-ish.  Rya has fallen even more in love with the outdoors this summer since we’ve had great weather.  We go out in the backyard several times a day for Mariah to release some energy running around barefoot, playing with bugs, or picking peas from the garden.  In fact, we had our first cold rainy day in a while yesterday and she started going a bit nutty and stir crazy until luckily the sun came out.  When she is inside, Rya still likes to keep herself busy with tasks like pouring dry pasta in and out of cups, or hiding in closets to play with hairclips.  We’ve actually decided to start making her some Montessori types of activities since Rya really seems to enjoy hands-on learning and play.  When she tires herself out and needs some downtime, Rya’s new favorite pass-time is watching ‘The Lorax’ over and over.  It’s the first movie we’ve had to deal with in this way, and lucky for Ivan and I, The Lorax is full of catchy songs that are permanently etched in our minds day and night! 

Since each of my babies grows so much everyday, I’m sure I’ll be back here complaining and bragging again soon : )

The Staycation comes to an end...

Since we somehow managed to coordinate Kassiah’s arrival with Ivan’s summer holidays (like we coordinated Mariah’s with his winter holidays – what can I say, I’m a good planner)…we’ve been able to indulge in lots of family time.  I had predicted we might be confined to the house with a newborn and my post-partum hormones.  But since I’ve been feeling so well, we enjoyed a ‘staycation’ filled with a good balance of relaxation and fun. 

Mariah is a night owl so we’ve let her stay up past her usual 8:30 bedtime during the summer, which means we had the luxury of sleeping in since she hasn’t been waking up until after 9am!  Even then, she’s become so comfortable in her crib that she usually spends a while lying down and talking to herself before she calls out for one of us to pick her up.  This later wake-up also helped her combine her previous two short naps into a long afternoon nap from about 1-3 every afternoon.  Ivan and I learned from our mistake of trying to be ‘productive’ during naptime the first time around and have taken full advantage of the opportunity to squeeze in some extra sleep almost everyday since we’ve been taking turns settling Kassiah at night.  We’ve spent many days at home, enjoying the sun in our backyard and then watching movies inside to cool off.

Ivan, Mariah, and I all love the water, so we bought Kassiah her first tiny little bathing suit at just 2 weeks, and have been to the pool a few times since then.  We continued to do the outings we’ve always enjoyed – like going to the zoo, driving to Cochrane for fresh ice cream, going to the park, and visiting the Rocky Mountains in Kananaskis.  And we made a point to discover some adventures that were new to us – like insisting Mariah was tall enough to go on some of the rides at ‘Heritage Park’, going Saskatoon Berry picking at a nearby farm, visiting the Leighton Art Centre, and walking through nature trails at a bird sanctuary.  I still have a few more plans on my list, like going to a Corn Maze and another farm called Butterfield Acres.  As you can tell from the list, Ivan and I are outdoors people, and Mariah is more than happy to follow this lead.  She loves being adventurous, and that’s really validated our choice to move from Toronto to Calgary since one of our reasons was to be closer to nature. 

Ivan teaches at an early start school, so he is already back to work tomorrow.  We’re both a bit sad to see our family summer vacation come to an end, but we’re also both feeling ready to get back into more of a routine.  My mom is in town for several weeks to help me with the babies, so I’m really lucky to have extra hands around as I ease back into maternity leave life.  I’m a bit nervous that Ivan and I will slip back into the arguments of how hard it is to be home with the kids all day instead of working outside the home and vice versa.  But hopefully since we’ve both taken turns doing each with Mariah, we’ll be a bit more empathetic with each other.  Fingers crossed that our transition back into ‘real life’ goes smoothly!

first swim at 2 weeks old...NBD!

Saskatoon Berry Picking

@ the Zoo with her BFF

Skipping stones in Kananaskis with daddy

Calgary Corn Maze

So far, so good

My physical recovery from childbirth has been much easier the second time around.  Both Mariah and Kassiah were born with one hand on their head, which resulted in a small 1^st degree tear.  Both times I was offered stitches and turned that unappealing idea down very quickly.  But since Kassiah was born in water with just a couple minutes of pushing, my body thanked me afterward.  When Mariah was born, I remember feeling swollen and a bit sore ‘down there’ for about a week.  It hurt to laugh and let’s not even talk about post-partum hemorrhoids (you’re welcome).  But this time, I’ve felt none of that.  The only pain I experienced afterward was back and tummy cramps from my uterus contracting back into it’s normal size during the first two days…and of course sore ta-ta’s from re-learning how to breastfeed.  (One very hot day I tried the natural remedy of putting frozen cabbage leaves in my bra and then spent the rest of the day wondering what smelled like farts!)

I had been holding my breath during pregnancy, bracing for the raging hormones that I experienced post-partum with Mariah.  Knock on wood, but so far I’ve had pretty minimal baby blues and have mostly felt like myself.  Just a couple of crying episodes for no valid reason other than sleep deprivation, but nothing like the extreme ups and downs I had after my first delivery.  I’m sure there will still be some low moods to come in the next few months though, so I’m trying to stay mentally prepared for tough days ahead.  I think it’s a combination of factors that’s helped buffer the emotional impact.  Even though my mood had eventually improved after having Mariah, I decided to stay on a low dosage of anti-depressants during pregnancy to help prepare for post-partum.  I also had my placenta encapsulated again and have been taking those regularly to restore the iron and nutrients my body lost.  And overall, I think that just having been through the process before has helped.  Whereas with Mariah I was adjusting to the huge life change of becoming a mother, this time I only have to re-adjust into being a mother of two. 

As for Mariah’s adjustment to becoming a sister – she is doing as well as can be expected for an 18 month-old baby herself.  The morning after Kassiah was born, Mariah arrived home from her sleepover and Ivan and I watched her reaction to discovering her new baby sister.  At first she looked a bit shocked but that quickly transformed into sheer excitement, which really hasn’t tapered off.  Everyday, she gives Kassiah kisses (which sometimes turn into bites) and hugs (that sometimes squeeze a bit too tight) – all because she loves her to bits.  There’s definitely some jealousy there, but more than anything, Mariah has a strong interest in Kassiah and just wants to be involved.  She’s tried to feed her popcorn and bananas, offered to share her milk bottle, and even takes her beloved pacifier out of her own mouth to try and settle her sister.  She’s a bit rough around the edges right now, but Mariah seems to be slowly transitioning into the best big sister anyone could ask for.  

Kassiah's birth story

Just when I was starting to think that Kassiah would never arrive and I was permanently pregnant…contractions finally started.  It was late Thursday night and I was just about to go to sleep when I began to get a mild crampy feeling every 20 minutes or so.  I remembered my prenatal training from Mariah’s time and went straight to bed to ensure I’d be rested for labour.  By about 5am, the contractions were noticeable enough to wake me up, but still mild enough to know that I was in the early stage.  Ivan and I spent Friday juggling rest periods with strategies to progress the labour.  I knew I needed to walk, so we went on a family trip to the grocery store where I took occasional discrete pauses to breathe through contractions.  I tried to stay pretty active the rest of the day, but still squeezed in an afternoon nap with Mariah.  By Friday evening, the contractions were finally getting a bit closer together – like every 5-10 minutes, and a bit more painful.  Around 8pm, we packed Mariah a sleepover bag and shipped her off to a friend’s place, since we figured she’s a bit too young to understand what was about to happen.  Then we paged our midwives around 10 pm to give them a heads up that labour had started and that they would likely get another call in the middle of the night. 

I took a hot bath, since this usually slows down contractions if they’re just part of pre-labour, or speeds them up if your body is ready.  I was starting to get disappointed since the contractions began to slow down for a little while.  But sure enough, when I tried to go to bed, they again intensified.  Ivan quickly bounced back into the role of labour coach and applied ‘counterpressure’ to my hips with each contraction to help with the pain.  I was so anxious to get labour moving that I was torn between sleeping and staying awake.  I was getting stuck in my head – busy with thoughts trying to analyze how far along into labour I was and how to hurry up the process, rather than trusting my body and just letting the process happen.  I had been timing the contractions all day and was so focused on trying to get them closer together, that my anxiety level had the opposite effect and I was getting frustrated that my body wasn’t listening to my orders. 

I tried hard to convince myself that things were moving forward.  Once contractions got down to about 5 minutes apart I paged my midwife, Debbie, again to check-in.  She offered to come and assess me, but also reminded me that I sounded a bit too chipper to be in the active phase of labour.  I agreed that I didn’t quite feel ‘there yet’ and decided to try and sleep one more time.  Ivan suggested we stop timing the contractions and just focus on relaxing – and as soon as I managed to turn my brain off and my body on, things finally started changing.  My response to the contractions progressively transitioned from breathing through them to moaning while squeezing Ivan.  By 3am, they had become intense enough that I was pretty sure I was in ‘active labour’.  I paged Debbie and said “I’m not chipper anymore” to which she laughed and assured me she and Theresa would be on their way.  They arrived just 15 minutes later when I had returned to the bathtub to help soothe the pain.  Each one brought me comfort and support, helping me feel safe in good hands.  When Debbie checked me, I probably should have been happy to already be 7cm dilated, but I joked that I wished I were 10cm already since I was fully dilated when the midwives arrived for Mariah’s delivery.  I realized that the whole time, I had been comparing this labour to my first experience, and hurrying it along to try and fit the same schedule.  But little did I know that despite my early labour being twice as long as the first time (about 30 hours), the active labour and pushing would turn out to be twice as fast the second time. 

As contractions continued to get more intense and closer together, I tried my best to cope with them.  I went back and forth from squatting under my rain shower to hanging over my bathtub, with Ivan pressing on my lower back.  I used a towel as a pillow and kept burying my face in it and grabbing onto it, like it could help me escape the pain.  The last few contractions were so strong that I was whimpering and thinking to myself I would never do this again.  Theresa leaned over and gently reminded me that even though it was hard to do, I needed to try and relax during contractions to allow my body to open up, so I tried my best to turn my clenched face into a calm one.  After just an hour and a half of active labour, I suddenly felt Kassiah’s head pressing down and I told the midwives I needed to push.  The first push didn’t do anything productive aside from making Theresa reach for the fish net (i.e. I may or may not have pooped a bit – don’t laugh, it’s very common during childbirth...nothing to be ashamed of, ladies!).  But on the next contraction, I sat up in the bathtub and before Theresa could even get her gloves on, Kassiah’s head was making her way through.  I could hear Ivan and the midwives encouraging me to slow down to minimize tearing, and I tried my best for a few seconds but then quickly gave another couple of pushes and Kassiah emerged into the water.  Theresa immediately handed her to me, and I was overwhelmed with relief that I had reached the finish line and that my baby was finally here.  She looked so much like Mariah did at birth that it was a bit unreal.  Ivan and I gushed in amazement as Debbie cozied Kassiah in warm towels on my chest and Theresa made sure she had a bit of a cry.  Kassiah officially arrived at 4:31 am Saturday July 7^th in the incredible waterbirth experience I had always wanted.  After the umbilical cord had finished pulsing, Ivan got to do the honours and Theresa told him that if we had a third, he could even be the ‘catcher’ (which I’ll have to thank her for later since I had only recently convinced Ivan and myself that two is enough : ) 

Soon after, the midwives helped me back to my bed where I was joined by Ivan and Kassiah for some snuggle time.  She weighed in at 6 lbs 7 oz – just an ounce smaller than Mariah was, even after Kassiah was 5 days overdue.  She was quiet and content upon her arrival into the world, and even latched on for a feed without any difficulty.  Ivan and I feel so lucky to have such a positive pregnancy and birth experience, yet again, that we gave Kassiah the middle name ‘Sage’ after the Sage Passages team with our Birth Partnership midwives. 

Me and my amazing midwives

The good old 'weigh' : )

The Overdue Time Warp

As I watched my July 2^nd due date come and go this week, I’m finally experiencing the time warp of being overdue, first hand.  I’ve never fully understood what it felt like before, since Mariah was one of the 3% who showed up right on time.  So far, I think I’m handling it pretty well since Ivan is now off on summer holidays, and we’ve been enjoying our last few days as a family of three.  We’ve tried to balance keeping active with walks and outings along with lots of rest including 2-hour afternoon naps with Mariah.  Staying distracted definitely helps since I think I would be going a bit insane if I were home alone staring at the clock. 

I’ve been optimistically thinking that this baby will arrive ‘tomorrow’ for the last two weeks or so…but each tomorrow has turned into a yesterday pretty quickly.  Part of what’s helped me stay calm is that the midwifery approach to a due date tends to be more liberal than the medical model.  Many women at my stage would already have a medical induction scheduled, which I think can add a bit too much pressure to an already stressful situation.  Midwives offer induction options as well, but these are usually less invasive and less time constrained.  I was offered a ‘stretch and sweep’ of my cervix starting at 38 weeks and although I’ve been anxious to meet my new baby, I decided to hold off.  I finally had the procedure done today (which turned out to be pretty quick with minimal discomfort) and I’m curious to see if it ‘works’ since it’s said to kickstart labour within 48 hours for about 25% of women.  I’ve been using natural inducers; like pregnancy tea, homeopathic medicine, and evening primrose oil; for the last month…so hopefully the combination will help get baby moving soon.  Although I’ve carried her quite high throughout my pregnancy, she finally ‘dropped’ a few days ago – which I can tell with some new pelvic pressure and a relief from heartburn.  So as far as I can tell, all signs point to ‘tomorrow’ – right?!?

The unpredictability factor seems to be even harder on Ivan than it is on me.  He continues to pendulum swing between nesting (like cooking & cleaning in preparation for baby) and then getting frustrated when life goes on and we need to do all of those things again.  Today he talked me into a Costco trip for enough snacks to survive the apocalypse – so hopefully that doesn’t jinx anything!  And Mariah…she continues to be as oblivious as possible to my belly, but more and more obsessed with the concept of ‘babies’.  She now stops in her tracks each time she sees a ‘baby’ in public and screams the word in delight, even if the ‘baby’ happens to be twice her age.  She drags her own little baby everywhere with her so I’m sure she and her sister will be inseparable…once Mariah gets over some intense jealousy and identity issues, that is. 

So if all goes well, I will be busy with baby #2 ‘tomorrow’ and won’t have time to blog for a while.  Fingers crossed that the delivery and post-partum mood roller coaster are a little gentler than the first time.  I will share an update on both as soon as chaos subsides a bit.  Until then – wish me luck, and look out for the new arrival e-mail (which I took the liberty of pre-drafting several weeks ago with blanks for the details in true Holly style!).

18 months

Mariah turned a year and a half last week, which means 18-months will essentially be the small age gap between she and her sister who could show up ‘any day now’.  Mariah continues to fine tune her big sister skills with her ‘baby’ (who a friend mistakenly referred to as a bear the other day and I quickly corrected her, since Mariah hasn’t yet realized that her baby is not the same species as her : )  Mariah sometimes talks in private with this baby and seems to include long frustrated pauses in which she thinks maybe, just maybe, her baby will respond.  Perhaps she’s smarter than that – knowing that the baby is just pretend…or perhaps smarter still – the pauses are timed for her to imagine the dialogue they would have if this bear—I mean baby, could talk. 

Mariah certainly proves her intelligence and maturity in other ways, like helping to keep the house tidy.  Each morning when I make her instant oatmeal, she gestures for the packet and then walks it over to the garbage to throw it out.  Yesterday the house was cold so she stopped along the way to point to the tiles and hug her arms together to report these observations to me.  She refuses to wear a bib, yet doesn’t like dropping food, so she insists that I help her clean off any food drips from her clothes before taking the next bite.  When Mariah finishes her meals, she points at any crumbs she left on the floor to remind Ivan and I to clean them.  And if we don’t get to it fast enough for her liking, little Miss waddles over to get the 5 foot broom and dustpan herself!  (No joke, I didn’t even realize she knew where it was until she started sweeping on her own).  If it’s a liquid mess, like a milk splatter from her sippy cup, Mariah independently finds a dishrag or a facecloth to wipe it up.  And her latest tidy quirk is that the moment I take her shoes off when she returns from her daily trip to the backyard, she immediately runs to the mud room to put her shoes away in a cubby that she knows is hers.  Just when we thought her body language couldn’t get cuter – she’s started tugging at our hearts when she gets ‘in trouble’.  The other day her pen marks managed to get from the paper to the couch and when we gently but firmly reminded her to be more careful, she took two steps in front of us with her back turned toward us, hung her head down in despair, shrugged her shoulders up and down with sad sighs, and made some noticeable sniffles before we realized her eyes were welling up with tears.  She doesn’t cry or say anything when she’s upset like this, but just makes it clear to us that she’s a sad little combination of remorseful and embarrassed, enough for us to feel guilty for scolding her.  Mariah is definitely a brave little girl though too.  When she falls or hurts herself, we’ve taught her to ‘wipe it off’ so she quickly stands up and proudly wipes her hands before running to her next task. 

And incase anyone wanted my usual dose of pregnancy complaints – I’ve got a new one.  My latest symptom is apparently called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD), which is caused by stretching of the pelvic joint.  The best way I can describe this pain to you is the way a friend captured it recently “like someone winds up and kicks you in the groin, without warning”!  Seriously – just imagine what that would feel like…and then what you would look like suddenly grabbing your crotch and keeling over – this is the latest joy I’ve had in the last week.  I looked up triggers, which include stretching movements such as swimming (which was a big relief to me since I’ve spent several weeks feeling guilty for not swimming and now have an excuse not to).  My chiropractor suggested a natural remedy of taking ‘Lecithin’ supplements, which can apparently help control the pain as quickly as Tylenol.  Interestingly, when I looked up food sources of lecithin, the major one was eggs – which I have been craving and eating daily during this pregnancy.  And when I backtracked in my head to the days I had gotten these pains – they were actually the worst on the days I skipped my morning dose of eggs!  So here’s to following your instincts during pregnancy, and otherwise – our bodies really do know what’s best for us.

The End is Near

At nearly 38 weeks, I’m thankful to have officially reached a healthy ‘full-term’ pregnancy.  But since that ranges from 37-42 weeks and due dates are pretty arbitrary, it narrows down my expectations for baby to arrive somewhere between ‘any day now’ up to a month away!  That broad a timeline poses a challenge for control-freaks like myself, but in a way the element of surprise just adds more excitement to the whole experience.  Ivan & I have nested enough to feel generally prepared for a potential early arrival.  The bassinet is assembled, the homebirth supplies are organized, baby’s drawers are filled with plenty of hand-me-downs.  But if she decides to show up fashionably late, that’s okay with me too.  I’m just a few days away from mat leave and am working on the oh-so difficult goal of prioritizing rest and relaxation.  I had initially planned to keep Mariah home with me during my days before the next one arrives.  But then I remembered how extra tiring parenting can be when you’re pregnant.  Luckily Ivan has encouraged me to make the wise decision of continuing to drop Mariah to daycare on my days off so that they can be filled with pre-natal massages, reading, sleeping, or whatever it is I feel like doing.  Obviously, it didn’t take him long to convince me of that plan – but he did rid me of any guilt about losing final one-on-one moments with Mariah by assuring me that he would do the same thing if he were in my shoes.

The last few weeks of pregnancy have become a bit more achy and a bit less blissful.  As with my first pregnancy, my hip joints have gone a bit out of whack so I’ve been getting regular chiropractic adjustments, which really helps.  Although some kind-hearted women assure me that I still look great (while avoiding too much eye-contact), others who find it harder to lie remind me that I’m ‘huge’ or even ask the ever-hilarious joke of whether I’m having twins (yes mother, I’m publicly shaming you!).  I really can’t complain because I find it equally as hard to cover my double chin while I accept the compliments as I do with controlling my eye-rolling and sarcasm when anyone points out the obvious - that I’m as big as a house.  I swear I’m not a body-image victim who thinks I’m fat.  I do realize that gaining weight is normal and healthy during pregnancy.  But, it’s much easier to be comfortable with extra weight when it’s a cute round bump in the second trimester, than when it leaves you waddling and panting during the day and wishing you had a crane to help you roll at night in the third trimester!  Despite this vanity, or maybe because of it…I chose to do a pregnancy photo shoot recently and am actually pretty happy with the results – thanks to the almighty airbrush.  Since this might be my last pregnancy experience, and since motherhood has become such a big part of my identity, I thought it would be neat to capture the physical process with some proof.

 

As the time draws nearer, Mariah is helping to boost my faith in her as a capable big sister.  She’s become very interested in her ‘baby’ (a pink stuffed bear Ivan & I bought when we were dating and I was determined to have my first-born attach to!).  Mariah has started to say this word often and independently includes ‘baby’ in her play.  She sits it up carefully in her tiny chair and pushes it around the house, she brings it to her toys and tries to teach it to play, and yesterday when I jokingly stuffed baby’s feet into shoes, Mariah took it seriously and started walking her baby around.  I have a feeling Mariah will be greatly disappointed when she realizes her little sister will be almost as boring and passive as this bear for the first few months – but nonetheless, I’m sure Mariah will fall in love with her too. 

My Little Big Girl

Over the last few weeks, Mariah’s development seems to have spiked with lots of new skills.  Her baby babble is slowly transforming into actual words, which includes the following:  no (of course), mama, dada, doggy, uh-oh, out, off, this, there, shoes, and up.  After a 6 week signing course, she did pick up one sign: ‘more’.  And despite this limited vocabulary, Mariah certainly understands a lot of what we say to her, and manages to get her own point across with some creative non-verbal communication skills.  I guess she’s used to her very pregnant mom groaning when she bends over to reach something, so Mariah has begun to do the same.  When she wants something, she usually makes the cutest noise she can create and pulls your hand in the direction of her desired goal.  This usually leads you to the pantry where she has also started to take matters into her own hands by climbing the shelves to reach anything that looks appealing.  My favourite story yet is that apparently during clean-up time at the dayhome, Mariah simply points to the toys she has pulled out and makes a sound…and her ‘boyfriend’ comes running over to put things away for her! (That’s my girl!!!)

After a few different phases, Mariah has clearly become a daddy’s girl once again.  I would like to chalk this up to the fact that mommy is too tired to carry or play with her much these days.  But it probably also has a lot to do with the fact that Ivan is a pretty amazing dad who just adores his little girl to pieces.  Their indoor pastimes include wrestling, cuddling, playing djembe drums together, dancing, and colouring.  If the sun is out, you can bet they’re both in the backyard keeping busy.  When Ivan did some landscaping recently, Mariah took breaks from her sandbox to ‘help’ by moving one rock at a time from daddy’s pile to the wheelbarrow.  And when mom prefers to stay home and nap, Ivan & Mariah are often out doing errands together – mostly wandering aimlessly but happily around garden centres.

Mariah retired her high chair to the basement since she didn’t like feeling isolated, but has agreed to sit in a booster chair at the dining table where she feels more like a big girl.  For a 17-month old, she has pretty amazing motor skills that she now demonstrates by eating by herself…with cutlery!  Every morning, we each sit down to a bowl of oatmeal – which she carefully shovels into her mouth before asking to finish my bowl.  Since she has refused to wear a bib for the last several months, she usually gets a splatter or two on herself, which inevitably ends up on my work clothes. 

Her latest tricks are both musical.  A few weeks ago she started trying to ‘whistle’ and sometimes she is even successful.  If she’s not asleep during car-rides, you can sometimes hear tiny amounts of air blowing through her lips, with some intermittent whistling noises coming through, as she practices proudly.  And the other day she spontaneously started moonwalking, which might be in her blood since her aunt is a big MJ fan and a talented dancer!

With just a few weeks left of being an only child, I’m working hard to try and train Mariah for her new role as a big sister.  She’s finally taken some interest in a couple of stuffies that I selected as her ‘babies’ – which she used to prefer to throw or sit on.  Now Mariah attempts to nurture them a bit with hugs and kisses, bottle feeding, and bringing them to mommy to help diaper & un-diaper repeatedly.  At first I thought it was getting a bit much, but it’s probably a good predictor of what life will be in a very short while.

Colouring on the table daddy built for her

Enjoying a cold brewski after some hard labour!

Barefoot and Pregnant

For nearly 31 weeks (or 7 months) pregnant, I have to admit I’m feeling pretty good.  This pregnancy has been similar to my first: some nausea & vomiting in the first trimester – but nothing debilitating, fatigue that often makes my bedtime match up with Mariah’s, and my arch nemesis: heartburn.  This time around is also very different though since I have a toddler to keep me busy, so there isn’t much time to sit back and reflect on the pregnancy itself.  I still get excited to feel the new baby kick or daydream about holding her.  But I find the pregnancy is flying by so fast this time, that I can barely keep track of the weeks.  With Mariah, I prided myself in staying active throughout pregnancy – doing prenatal yoga and aquafit until the last few weeks.  I was starting to feel bad about my lack of exercise this time, when I realized that lifting a twenty pound baby several times a day definitely counts for something.  The other difference in this pregnancy is that I’ve become a lot more lax and comfortable about what I choose to put into my body.  With Mariah, I didn’t eat one coldcut sandwich, let alone raw sushi.  But this time I’m going with the research that says pregnant women can pretty much continue to eat anything, as long as it’s from a reputable place.  Last time I tortured myself with handfuls of tums that would temporarily reduce my constant heartburn.  Whereas this time I’m on a prescription dosage of antacids that have nearly eliminated the problem. 

My ever-expanding belly is finally starting to create some aches and pains.  I can barely lift my legs high enough to put on pants each morning, and I sometimes wish there were a mechanical crane near my bed that could help me roll at night.  But overall, these complaints seem pretty mild compared with the average preggo.  I only need to use the bathroom about once a night and other than that, I sleep pretty soundly.  I don’t seem to get any swelling in my ankles or legs.  So for the most part, I feel like a ‘normal’ person, who just happens to pant when she goes up a flight of stairs. 

Mariah appears naively clueless about the concept of pregnancy – understandable for her age.  She will occasionally kiss my belly on command, but usually slaps it afterward in an early display of sibling rivalry.  I had always imagined reading stories to my first child and trying to prepare them for a new sibling, but since she’s so young, there’s not much we can do except keep our fingers crossed that she doesn’t consider her new sister to be a threat.  Lucky for me, the new baby is due at the start of Ivan’s summer holidays so we’ll have plenty of transition time together as a family.  My guess is that Mariah will show some pretty fierce jealousy in the beginning, but that she’ll eventually be excited when she learns the new baby can become her playmate…or guinea pig.  (I say this from experience, since my older sister somehow convinced me to bite into a wax candle when I was 3, when we weren’t sure if it was candy).

Before I end this entry, I should update you on Mariah’s latest antics and adventures.  She is becoming quite the comedian, who loves making people laugh, including herself.  Her best new ‘trick’ is her angry face in which she can instantly turn her smile into a grumpy frown, eyebrows furrowed and all – just long enough to crack you up before she starts smirking herself.  When asked ‘what does mama say?’, she responds ‘uh-uh-uh’ while waving her little finger in the air.  We took a recent trip to Toronto where she basked in the attention of family, and fell in love with a ‘doggy’ – which she learned to scream in a high pitch as she chased, pulled tail, and poked eyes.  If I weren’t allergic, I would consider getting one just to keep her entertained.  With the weather improving, Mariah is living up to Ivan’s expectation of being and outdoors girl.  She has her own colorful set of garden tools that she uses to ‘help’ him do whatever it is he does in the backyard.  Mariah will gladly drop anything she’s doing to put on her shoes and head to the park.  And one of her new favorite hobbies is coloring with sidewalk chalk.  In fact, she may be a little Picasso since she can also sit and color for ages at the miniature purple desk her daddy built for her.  I just hope my next blog does not include a confession about crayons on the walls!

Patiently awaiting the ultrasound to find out her sibling's gender